SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP INC /VA/
DEF 14A, 1997-03-18
SAVINGS INSTITUTION, FEDERALLY CHARTERED
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                            SCHEDULE 14A INFORMATION

Proxy Statement Pursuant to Section 14(a) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934
                                (Amendment No. )

Filed by the Registrant [ X ] 
Filed by a Party other than the Registrant [ ]

Check the appropriate box:
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
<S>                                   <C>  
[  ]  Preliminary Proxy Statement     [  ]  Confidential, For Use of the Commission Only
                                            (as permitted by Rule 14a-6(e)(2))
[ X]  Definitive Proxy Statement
[  ]  Definitive Additional Materials
[  ]  Soliciting Material Pursuant to Rule 14a-11(c)
      or Rule 14a-12
</TABLE>


                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                (Name of Registrant as Specified in Its Charter)

- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (Name of Person(s) Filing Proxy Statement, if Other Than the Registrant)

Payment of Filing Fee (Check the appropriate box):

[ X]   No fee required.

[  ]  Fee computed on table below per Exchange Act Rules 14a-6(i)(1) and 0-11.

         (1)     Title of each class of securities to which transaction applies:
                 ...............................................................
         (2)     Aggregate number of securities to which transaction applies:
                 ...............................................................
         (3)     Per unit price or other  underlying value of transaction 
                 computed  pursuant to Exchange Act Rule 0-11 (set forth the 
                 amount on which the  filing fee is  calculated  and state how
                 it was determined):
                 ...............................................................
         (4)     Proposed maximum aggregate value of transaction:
                 ...............................................................
         (5)     Total fee paid:
                 ...............................................................

[  ]     Fee paid previously with preliminary materials.
                 ...............................................................

[  ]     Check box if any part of the fee is offset as  provided  by  Exchange
         Act Rule  0-11(a)(2)  and identify the filing for which the  offsetting
         fee was paid  previously.  Identify the previous filing by registration
         statement number, or the form or schedule and the date of its filing.

         (1)     Amount previously paid:
                 ...............................................................
         (2)     Form, Schedule or Registration Statement no.:
                 ...............................................................
         (3)     Filing Party:
                 ...............................................................
         (4)     Date Filed:
                 ...............................................................


<PAGE>
                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.







Dear Shareholders:


         You are cordially  invited to attend the Annual Meeting of Shareholders
of Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc. (the "Company"), which will be held on April
24, 1997 at 3:00 p.m.,  at the Fauquier  Springs  Country  Club,  Springs  Road,
Warrenton, Virginia 20186.

         At the  Meeting,  three  directors of the Company will be elected for a
term of three  years.  Shareholders  also will vote on a  proposal  to amend the
Company's  1993 Stock  Option  and  Incentive  Plan.  Whether or not you plan to
attend in  person,  it is  important  that your  shares  be  represented  at the
Meeting.  Please  complete,  sign, date and return promptly the enclosed form of
proxy.  If you later decide to attend the Meeting and vote in person,  or if you
wish to revoke your proxy for any reason prior to the vote at the  Meeting,  you
may do so and your proxy will have no further effect.

         The Board of Directors and  management of the Company  appreciate  your
continued support and look forward to seeing you at the Annual Meeting.

                                Sincerely yours,



                                GEORGIA S. DERRICO
                                Chairman and
                                Chief Executive Officer


Warrenton, Virginia
March 17, 1997


<PAGE>


                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.
                                37 E. Main Street
                            Warrenton, Virginia 20186


                    NOTICE OF ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS


         NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the Annual Meeting of the holders of shares
of Common  Stock,  par value  $0.01 per share (the  "Common  Stock") of Southern
Financial  Bancorp,  Inc. (the "Company")  will be held at the Fauquier  Springs
Country Club, Springs Road, Warrenton, Virginia, on April 24, 1997 at 3:00 p.m.,
for the following purposes:

         1.       To elect three  directors to serve on the  Company's  Board of
                  Directors for a term of three years, or until their successors
                  are elected and qualify;

         2.       To  approve  the  designation  by the  Board of  Directors  of
                  Arthur  Anderson,  LLP as auditors for the fiscal year ending
                  December 31, 1997;

         3.       To approve an amendment to the Company's 1993 Stock Option and
                  Incentive Plan; and

         4.       To transact such other business as may properly come before 
                  the meeting.

         The Board of Directors  has fixed the close of business on February 28,
1997 as the record date for the determination of shareholders entitled to notice
of, and to vote at, the Annual Meeting.



                                          By Order of the Board of Directors



                                          Lynette D. Ridgley,
                                          Secretary

Warrenton, Virginia
March 17, 1997


- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU ARE  CORDIALLY  INVITED TO ATTEND THIS  MEETING.  IT IS IMPORTANT  THAT YOUR
SHARES BE REPRESENTED REGARDLESS OF THE NUMBER THAT YOU OWN. EVEN IF YOU PLAN TO
BE PRESENT, YOU ARE URGED TO COMPLETE,  SIGN, DATE AND RETURN THE ENCLOSED PROXY
PROMPTLY IN THE  ENVELOPE  PROVIDED.  IF YOU ATTEND THIS  MEETING,  YOU MAY VOTE
EITHER IN PERSON OR BY YOUR  PROXY.  ANY PROXY  GIVEN MAY BE  REVOKED  BY YOU IN
WRITING OR IN PERSON AT ANY TIME PRIOR TO THE EXERCISE THEREOF.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



<PAGE>



                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.

                               -------------------

                                 PROXY STATEMENT
                               -------------------

                         ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS
                                 April 24, 1997


                               GENERAL INFORMATION

         This Proxy Statement is furnished to holders of common stock,  $.01 par
value per share  ("Common  Stock"),  of Southern  Financial  Bancorp,  Inc. (the
"Company"),  in  connection  with the  solicitation  of  proxies by the Board of
Directors  (the  "Board")  of the  Company to be used at the  Annual  Meeting of
Shareholders  to be held on April 24, 1997 at 3:00 p.m. at the Fauquier  Springs
Country Club, Springs Road, Warrenton, Virginia and any adjournment thereof (the
"Annual Meeting").

         The  principal  executive  offices of the  Company are located at 37 E.
Main  Street,   Warrenton,   Virginia  20186,   telephone  (540)  349-3900.  The
approximate date on which this Proxy Statement,  the accompanying proxy card and
Annual Report to  Shareholders  (which is not part of the  Company's  soliciting
materials) are being mailed to the Company's shareholders is March 17, 1997. The
cost of soliciting proxies will be borne by the Company.

         The proxy  solicited  hereby,  if properly  signed and  returned to the
Company and not revoked prior to its use,  will be voted in accordance  with the
instructions  contained  thereon.  If no contrary  instructions are given,  each
proxy  received  will  be  voted  "for"  the  proposals  described  herein.  Any
shareholder  giving a proxy has the power to revoke it at any time  before it is
exercised  by (i)  filing  written  notice  thereof  with  Lynette  D.  Ridgley,
Secretary,  Southern  Financial  Bancorp,  Inc.,  37 E. Main Street,  Warrenton,
Virginia  20186;  (ii) submitting a duly executed proxy bearing a later date; or
(iii) appearing at the Annual Meeting or at any  adjournment  thereof and giving
the  Secretary  notice  of his or her  intention  to  vote  in  person.  Proxies
solicited hereby may be exercised only at the Annual Meeting and any adjournment
thereof and will not be used for any other meeting.

         Only  shareholders  of record at the close of business on February  28,
1997 (the "Record Date") will be entitled to vote at the Annual Meeting.  On the
Record Date,  there were 1,594,122 shares of Common Stock issued and outstanding
and 274 record  holders.  Each share of Common  Stock is entitled to one vote at
the Annual Meeting.  The Company had 15,634 shares of preferred stock issued and
outstanding at the Record Date.  Holders of preferred  stock are not entitled to
notice of, or to vote at, the Annual Meeting.

         As of the Record Date,  directors and executive officers of the Company
and their  affiliates,  persons and entities as a group,  owned  beneficially  a
total of 448,705 shares of Common Stock or approximately 25.69% of the shares of
Common Stock outstanding on such date.  Directors and executive  officers of the
Company have indicated an intention to vote their shares of Common Stock FOR the
election of the nominees set forth on the enclosed proxy.

<PAGE>

         A  shareholder  may  abstain or (only with  respect to the  election of
directors) withhold his or her vote  (collectively,  "abstentions") with respect
to each item submitted for shareholder approval. Abstentions will be counted for
purposes of determining the existence of a quorum.  Abstentions  will be counted
as not voting in favor of the relevant item.  Since the election of directors is
determined by a plurality vote, abstentions will not affect such election.

         A broker who holds  shares in street name has the  authority to vote on
certain items when it has not received  instructions  from the beneficial owner.
Except for certain items for which brokers are prohibited from exercising  their
discretion,  a broker is entitled to vote on matters put to shareholders without
instructions  from the  beneficial  owner.  Where  brokers do not have or do not
exercise such  discretion,  the inability or failure to vote is referred to as a
broker non-vote. Under the circumstances where the broker is not permitted to or
does not exercise its discretion,  assuming proper  disclosure to the Company of
such  inability  to vote,  broker  non-votes  will be counted  for  purposes  of
determining the existence of a quorum, but also will be counted as not voting in
favor of the particular matter.


                              ELECTION OF DIRECTORS

         The  Articles of  Incorporation  of the Company  provide that the Board
shall be divided into three  classes as nearly equal in number as possible.  The
members  of each  class are to be  elected  for a term of three  years and until
their  successors  are elected and  qualify.  One class of  directors is elected
annually.  Three directors are to be elected at the 1997 Annual Meeting to serve
for a term of  three  years.  The  Board  acts  as a  nominating  committee  for
selecting  the nominees  for election as  directors.  The  nominating  committee
delivers  written  nominations  to the  secretary of the Company at least twenty
days prior to the date of the Annual Meeting. The Board has no reason to believe
that any of the nominees will be  unavailable.  Four other  directors  have been
elected to terms that end either in 1998 or 1999, as indicated below.

         The Company's Bylaws provide,  however,  that shareholders  entitled to
vote for the election of directors may name nominees for election to the Board.

         Under the Company's  Bylaws,  notice of a proposed  nomination  meeting
certain specified  requirements must be received by the Company not less than 60
nor more  than 90 days  prior to any  meeting  of  shareholders  called  for the
election of directors, provided in each case that, if fewer than 70 days' notice
of the meeting is given to  shareholders,  such written notice shall be received
not later than the close of the tenth day  following  the day on which notice of
the meeting was mailed to shareholders.

         The Bylaws of the Company  require  that the  shareholder's  notice set
forth as to each  nominee (i) the name,  age,  business  address  and  residence
address of such  nominee,  (ii) the  principal  occupation or employment of such
nominee,  (iii)  the  class  and  number  of  shares  of the  Company  that  are
beneficially owned by such nominee,  and (iv) any other information  relating to
such nominee that is required under federal  securities  laws to be disclosed in
solicitations of proxies for the election of directors, or is otherwise required
(including, without limitation, such nominee's written consent to being named in
a proxy  statement  as nominee  and to serving as a director  if  elected).  The
Bylaws of the Company further require that the shareholder's notice set forth as
to the  shareholder  giving  the  notice  (i)  the  name  and  address  of  such
shareholder  and (ii) the class  and  amount  of such  shareholder's  beneficial
ownership of the Company's  capital stock.  If the  information  supplied by the
shareholder is deficient in any material aspect or if the foregoing procedure is
not  followed,  the  chairman  of the annual  meeting  may  determine  that such
shareholder's  nomination  should not be brought  before the annual  meeting and
that such  nominee  shall not be  eligible  for  election  as a director  of the
Company.

                                      -2-
<PAGE>


         Unless  authority  is withheld in the proxy,  each proxy  executed  and
returned by a shareholder  will be voted for the election of the nominees listed
below.  Proxies distributed in conjunction herewith may not be voted for persons
other than the nominees named thereon.  If any person named as nominee should be
unable or unwilling to stand for election at the time of the Annual Meeting, the
proxy  holders  will  nominate  and vote for a  replacement  nominee or nominees
recommended by the Board. At this time, the Board knows no reason why any of the
nominees  listed  above may not be able to serve as a director if  elected.  The
proxy also confers  discretionary  authority upon the persons named therein,  or
their  substitutes,  with  respect to any other  matter that may  properly  come
before the meeting.

         In the election of directors,  those  receiving the greatest  number of
votes will be elected  even if they do not receive a majority.  Abstentions  and
broker  non-votes  will not be  considered  a vote  for,  or a vote  against,  a
director.

THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS RECOMMENDS THAT THE NOMINEES BE ELECTED AS DIRECTORS.

<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

                 NOMINEES FOR ELECTION FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 2000

                                                                                                      Year first
                      Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                            elected as
                            and Directorships in Public Corporations                                   Director
                            ----------------------------------------                                   --------

<S>                            <C>                                                                       <C> 
Neil J. Call                   63, Executive Vice President, MacKenzie Partners, Inc., a New             1986
                               York financial consulting company, since 1990; having served as
                               Executive Vice President, D.F. King & Co., Inc. from 1986 to
                               1990; and Executive Vice President, Finance, of Gulf and Western
                               Industries prior thereto.

David de Give                  54, Senior Vice President of the Company since 1992; having been          1986
                               a cattle breeder and private investor from 1989 to 1992; having
                               served as President of Newmarket Capital Corp., a mortgage
                               company, from 1986 to 1989; and Vice President in charge of U.S.
                               Funding, Chemical Company, prior thereto.

R. Roderick Porter             51, Executive Vice President, FX Concepts, Ltd., an international         1986
                               money management firm, since January, 1994; having served as
                               Managing Director, West Capital, Inc., a real estate advising
                               firm from 1992 to 1994; Chairman, Newmarket Capital Corp., a
                               mortgage company; and Principal of Morgan Stanley prior thereto.


</TABLE>



                                      -3-
<PAGE>



<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

              INCUMBENT DIRECTORS SERVING FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 1999

                                                                                                      Year first
                                                                                                      elected as
                      Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                             Director
                            and Directorships in Public Corporations
                            ----------------------------------------

<S>                            <C>                                                                       <C> 
Virginia Jenkins               49, Owner, V. Jenkins Interiors and Antiques.                             1988

Michael P. Rucker              56, Executive with Caterpillar, Inc., a manufacturing company;            1991
                               Chairman of the Board, George H. Rucker Realty Corp., a real
                               estate development company.

</TABLE>

<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

              INCUMBENT DIRECTORS SERVING FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 1998

                                                                                                      Year first
                                                                                                      elected as
                      Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                             Director
                            and Directorships in Public Corporations
                            ----------------------------------------

<S>                            <C>                                                                       <C> 
Georgia S. Derrico             52, Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer of the              1986
                               Company since 1986; having served as Senior Vice President, Chief
                               Administrative and Credit Officer, Multinational Division,
                               District Head of Chemical Bank.

John L. Marcellus, Jr.         74, Retired President and Chairman of the Board, Oneida, Ltd., a          1986
                               silverware manufacturing company.  Other directorship:  Kuhlman
                               Corporation.

</TABLE>

         In 1996,  each  director  attended at least 75% of the aggregate of (i)
the total  number of  meetings  of the Board  held and (ii) the total  number of
meetings of all committees of the Board on which the director then served. Eight
meetings of the Board of the Company were held during 1996.

Committees of the Board

         The  Asset/Liability  Management  Committee  has  authority  for policy
formulation  and  administration  of the  Company's  asset  liability/management
policies.  The  Asset/Liability  Management  Committee,  which  consists  of Ms.
Derrico and Messrs.  Porter (Chairman) and de Give, reports monthly to the Board
on the  interest  sensitivity  of the  Company,  including  an  analysis  of the
duration of the Company's assets, liabilities and contingent liabilities as well
as the mortgage  pipeline  and a  calculation  of the duration of the  Company's
equity. The Asset/Liability Management Committee met six times during 1996.

         The Credit  Committee has authority and  responsibility  to oversee the
prudent  operation of the  Company's  lending  function,  including  the ongoing
qualitative review of the loan portfolio.  The Credit Committee,  which consists
of Ms.  Derrico and Messrs.  Call  (Chairman)  and Rucker,  is  responsible  for
reviewing all loans and approving loans above a certain minimum amount,  and for
insuring the 


                                      -4-
<PAGE>

development and maintenance of sound credit policies and procedures.  The Credit
Committee met in person three times during 1996. The Credit Committee frequently
discusses credit issues by teleconference (see "Compensation of Directors").

         The role of the Audit  Committee  is to assist the Board in  fulfilling
its fiduciary  responsibilities  relating to corporate  accounting and reporting
practices  of the  Company.  The Audit  Committee  consists of Messrs.  Call and
Marcellus (Chairman) and Ms. Jenkins and met two times during 1996.

         The role of the Compensation Committee is to review the performance of,
and to establish the  compensation  for, the executive  officers of the Company.
The Company's executive  compensation programs are designed to retain and reward
executives based upon (i) their  individual  performance and ability to lead the
Company  to  achieving  its  goals  and  (ii)  the  Company's  performance.  The
Compensation Committee consists of Messrs. Call and Marcellus (Chairman) and Ms.
Jenkins and met one time during 1996.

Certain Relationships and Related Transactions

         Georgia S. Derrico, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer and a director
of the Company,  and R. Roderick Porter, a director of the Company,  are married
to each other.

         It is currently  the  Company's  policy not to make loans to members of
its executive management.  However, the following residential mortgage loan from
the  Company to William H.  Lagos,  the  Company's  Senior  Vice  President  and
Controller, currently is outstanding:

<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

                                                                             Balance as of        Interest Rate at
    Name and Type        Year        Original         Highest Balance         December 31,          December 31,
       of Loan           Made      Loan Balance         During 1996             1996                   1996
       -------           ----      ------------         -----------             ----                   ----

<S>                      <C>         <C>                  <C>                   <C>                    <C>   
One Year
 Adjustable              1987        $138,000             $120,205              $117,242               5.625%
</TABLE>


                                 STOCK OWNERSHIP

         The  following  table lists any person  (including  any "group" as that
term is used in Section  13(d)(3) of the  Securities  Exchange  Act of 1934,  as
amended (the  "Exchange  Act")) who, to the  knowledge  of the Company,  was the
beneficial  owner  of  more  than 5% of the  outstanding  voting  shares  of the
Company, as of January 31, 1996.
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

                           Name and Address of                                                      Percent
Title of Class              Beneficial Owners                            Number of Shares(1)       of Class
- --------------              -----------------                            -------------------       --------


<S>                        <C>                                               <C>                      <C>   
Common Stock               Georgia S. Derrico(2)                             179,110 (3)              10.61%
                           R. Roderick Porter
                           2954 Burrland Lane
                           The Plains, Virginia  20171

                                      -5-
<PAGE>

                           Max C. Chapman                                      127,118                7.97%
                           Nomura Holding America
                           2 World Financial Center
                           Building B
                           New York, N.Y.  10281-1198

                           The Torray Fund                                   148,101 (4)              9.29%
                           Robert E. Torray
                           Robert E. Torray & Co.
                           6610 Rockledge Drive
                           Suite 450
                           Bethesda, Maryland  20817

                           Value Partners, Ltd.                              117,289 (5)              7.36%
                           Fisher Ewing Partners
                           Richard W. Fisher
                           Timothy G. Ewing
                           2200 Ross Avenue
                           Suite 4600
                           West Dallas, Texas  75201

                           Rucker Realty Corp.(6)                            110,878 (7)              6.94%
                           David S. Dodrill
                           Michael P. Rucker
                           Derek Rucker
                           Lucy Jones
                           Susan Jones Cooper(8)
                           Carleton R. Cooper
                           1355 Beverly Road
                           Suite 215
                           McLean, Virginia  22101

                           David Booth(9)                                     92,006 (10)             5.77%
                           Jane Garnett
                           24 Monroe Place #9A
                           Brooklyn, New York  11201
</TABLE>


- --------------------
(1)      Except as otherwise indicated,  includes shares held directly,  as well
         as shares held in retirement  accounts or by certain  family members or
         corporations,  over which the named  individuals  may be deemed to have
         voting or investment powers.

(2)      Georgia S. Derrico and R. Roderick Porter are married to each other.

(3)      Includes (a) 65,167 shares owned  individually by Ms. Derrico over
         which she has sole voting and investment  power and 89,763 shares that
         Ms. Derrico may acquire pursuant to the exercise of stock options; and
         (b)  20,141  shares of Common  Stock and 4,039  shares of  convertible
         preferred  stock owned  individually  by Mr.  Porter over which he has
         sole investment power. Ms. Derrico and Mr. Porter disclaim  beneficial
          ownership of each other's shares.

                                      -6-
<PAGE>

(4)      The Torray  Fund,  as managed by The Torray  Corporation,  beneficially
         owns 103,736 shares. The Torray Corporation may be deemed to have sole
         voting and  investment  power over all such shares.  Robert E. Torray,
         President  of The  Torray  Corporation,  may be deemed to have  shared
         voting and investment power over these shares. Robert E. Torray & Co.,
         Inc.  beneficially owns, on behalf of its clients,  44,365 shares. Mr.
         Torray  may be deemed to have sole  voting and  investment  power over
         33,880 of such shares.

(5)      Value  Partners,   Ltd.,  as  managed  by  Fisher  Capital  Management,
         beneficially  owns 117,289 shares.  Fisher Ewing Partners may be deemed
         to have sole voting and investment power over all such shares.

(6)      David  Dodrill and Susan Jones Cooper are officers of George H. Rucker
         Realty Corp. ("Rucker Realty");  Michael Rucker, Derek Rucker and Lucy
         Jones  are  shareholders  of  Rucker  Realty;  Michael  Rucker  is the
         Chairman of Rucker Realty.

(7)      Includes  5,773  shares of Common  Stock and 991 shares of  convertible
         preferred stock owned by Michael  Rucker,  3,933 shares of Common Stock
         and 2,402 shares of convertible  preferred stock owned by Derek Rucker,
         8,378  shares  owned by Lucy Jones,  5,025  shares owned by Susan Jones
         Cooper,  7,257 shares owned by David Dodrill,  2,096 shares owned by or
         in trust for Mr.  Dodrill's  children and 75,023 shares owned by Rucker
         Realty and persons  associated with Rucker Realty. The Company makes no
         representation  as to whether any of these persons,  individually or in
         any  combination,  share voting or  investment  power with any other or
         with Rucker Realty with respect to their shares.

(8)      Susan Jones Cooper and Carleton R. Cooper are married to each other.

(9)      David Booth and Jane Garnett are married to each other.

(10)     Includes  87,398  shares owned by Mr. Booth and 4,607 shares owned by 
         Ms.  Garnett.  The Company makes no  representation  as to whether Mr.
         Booth and Ms. Garnett share voting or investment power with respect to
         their shares.





                                      -7-
<PAGE>

         The  following  table sets forth as of January 31, 1997 the  beneficial
ownership  of Common  Stock by all  directors  and  nominees,  each of the named
executive  officers,  and directors  and executive  officers of the Company as a
group. Unless otherwise indicated,  each person listed below has sole voting and
investment power over all shares beneficially owned by such person.
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

                                            Number of            Number of
                                           Shares with          Shares with
                                           Sole Voting         Shared Voting
                                              and                  and
                                           Investment           Investment       Total Number         Percent of
Name of Beneficial Owner                   Power (6)             Power           of Shares             Class
- ------------------------                   ---------             -----           ---------             -----
                                                                              
<S>                                           <C>                <C>              <C>                    <C>  
R. Roderick Porter                            24,180             154,930          179,110  (2)           10.61

Neil J. Call                                  39,662               -0-             39,662  (3)            2.49

David de Give                                 68,061               2,259           70,320                 4.31

Georgia S. Derrico                           154,930              24,180          179,110  (2)           10.61

John L. Marcellus                             15,008                 640           15,648  (4)             --- (1)

Virginia Jenkins                               2,263                -0-             2,263                  --- (1)

Michael P. Rucker                              6,764             104,114          110,878  (5)            6.94

William H. Lagos                              30,290                 534           30,824                 1.92

Directors and Officers as a                  341,158             286,657          448,705                25.69
Group (8 persons)

- --------------------
<FN>

(1)      Mrs. Jenkins and Mr. Marcellus own less than 1% of Common Stock.

(2)      Includes  (a)  65,167 shares owned individually  by Ms.  Derrico  over
         which she has sole voting and investment  power and 89,763 shares that
         Ms. Derrico may acquire pursuant to the exercise of stock options; and
         (b)  20,141  shares of Common  Stock and 4,039  shares of  convertible
         preferred  stock owned  individually  by Mr.  Porter over which he has
         sole investment power. Ms. Derrico and Mr. Porter disclaim  beneficial
         ownership of each other's shares.

(3)      Includes 32,653 shares of Common Stock and 7,009 shares of convertible 
         preferred stock.

(4)      Includes 13,427 shares of Common Stock and 2,221 shares of convertible
         preferred stock.

(5)      Includes  5,773  shares of Common  Stock and 991 shares of  convertible
         preferred stock owned by Michael  Rucker,  3,933 shares of Common Stock
         and 2,402 shares of convertible  preferred stock owned by Derek Rucker,
         8,378  shares  owned by Lucy Jones,  5,025  shares owned by Susan Jones
         Cooper,  7,257 shares owned by David Dodrill,  2,096 shares owned by or
         in trust for Mr.  Dodrill's  children and 75,023 shares owned by Rucker
         Realty and persons  associated with Rucker Realty. The Company makes no


                                      -8-
<PAGE>

         representation  as to whether any of these persons,  individually or in
         any  combination,  share voting or  investment  power with any other or
         with Rucker Realty with respect to their shares.

(6)      The amounts in this column include  shares of Common Stock with respect
         to  which  certain  persons  have  the  right  to  acquire  beneficial
         ownership  within sixty days after December 31, 1996,  pursuant to the
         Company's  1986 Stock Option and  Incentive  Plan, as amended in 1987,
         and as  superseded  by the  Company's  1993 Stock Option and Incentive
         Plan: Mr. de Give:  37,403 shares;  Ms.  Derrico:  89,763 shares;  Mr.
         Lagos:  8,802  shares;  and the  directors  and  officers  as a group:
         135,968 shares.

</FN>
</TABLE>

                COMPENSATION OF EXECUTIVE OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS

Summary Compensation

         The following table presents information relating to total compensation
of the Chief  Executive  Officer and the other named  executive  officers of the
Company for the years ended December 31, 1996, 1995 and 1994.

<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

                           SUMMARY COMPENSATION TABLE

                                                                                      Long-Term
                                                                                        Compen-
                                                Annual Compensation                     sation  
                                                -------------------                     ------  

                                                                                      Securities
                                                                                      Underlying
Name and                                                           Other Annual        Options           All Other
Principal Position            Year      Salary        Bonus       Compensation(1)        (#)          Compensation(2)
- ------------------            ----      ------        -----       ---------------        ---          ---------------

<S>                           <C>        <C>          <C>               <C>             <C>               <C>   
Georgia S. Derrico            1996       $175,000     $132,500          --              22,003            $4,500
Chairman of the Board         1995        175,000      100,000          --              14,667             4,500
  and Chief Executive         1994        170,000       85,000          --              14,667             4,492
  Officer

David de Give                 1996        $84,240      $25,000          --              13,203            $3,240
Senior Vice President         1995         78,000       25,000          --               8,800             2,641
                              1994         72,500       15,000          --               8,800             1,850

William H. Lagos              1996(3)     $51,875      $12,500          --               8,802           $   500
Senior Vice President         1995        105,000       25,000          --               8,800             4,500
  and Controller              1994        100,075       25,000          --               8,800             3,235
</TABLE>

- --------------------
1        None of the named executive officers received Other Annual Compensation
         in excess of the lesser of $50,000 or 10% of combined  salary and bonus
         for 1996.

2        The amounts set forth in this column constitute contributions to the 
         Company's 401(k) Plan.

3        Mr. Lagos did not work for the Company from June 1, 1996 through 
         November 30, 1996.

                                      -9-
<PAGE>


Option Grants in Last Fiscal Year

         The  following  table sets forth for the year ended  December 31, 1996,
the grants of stock options to the named Executive Officers:

<TABLE>
<CAPTION>

                  OPTION GRANTS IN YEAR ENDED DECEMBER 31, 1996


                                                                                            Potential Realizable
                                                                                              Value at Assumed
                                                                                               Annual Rates of 
                                                                                                 Stock Price
                                                                                               Appreciation for
                                                 Individual Grants (a)                           Option Term
                         -------------------------------------------------------------------     ----------- 
                                              Percent of
                             Number of       Total Options
                            Securities        Granted to
                            Underlying       Employees in      Exercise of
                              Options         Fiscal Year      Base Price      Expiration
Name                        Granted (#)         (%) (b)         ($/Share)         Date        5% ($)      10% ($)
- ----                        -----------         -------         ---------         ----        ------      -------

<S>                            <C>               <C>              <C>           <C>             <C>         <C>    
Georgia S. Derrico             16,502            33.32            13.64         1/25/06         141,587     358,754
                                5,501                             12.73         7/25/06          44,063     111,615

David de Give                   8,802            20.00            13.64         1/25/06          75,521     191,356
                                4,401                             12.73         7/25/06          35,252      89,296

William H. Lagos                8,802            13.33            13.64         1/25/06          75,521     191,356

</TABLE>

- --------------------
(a)      Stock  options  were  awarded at the fair market value of the shares of
         Common Stock at the date of award and are exercisable after January 25,
         1998 and July 25, 1998.

(b)      Options to  purchase  56,111  shares of Common  Stock  were  granted to
         executive officers during the year ended December 31, 1996.




                                      -10-
<PAGE>




Option Exercises in Last Fiscal Year

         Set forth in the table below is information concerning each exercise of
stock option during the fiscal year ended December 31, 1996 by each of the named
executive officers and the year end value of unexercised options.

<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
           AGGREGATED OPTION EXERCISES IN YEAR ENDED DECEMBER 31, 1996
                        AND FISCAL YEAR END OPTION VALUES

                                                                  Number of
                                                            Securities Underlying            Value of Unexercised
                                                             Unexercised Options             In-The-Money Options
                                                          at December 31, 1996 (#)1        at December 31, 1996 ($)2
                                                          -------------------------        -------------------------
                            Shares
                         Acquired on        Value
Name                     Exercise (#)   Realized ($)    Exercisable     Unexercisable    Exercisable    Unexercisable
- ----                     ------------   ------------    -----------     -------------    -----------    -------------

<S>                         <C>            <C>             <C>             <C>             <C>              <C>  
Georgia S. Derrico          22,026         218,939         67,760          22,003          276,704          4,236

David de Give                 --             --            24,200          13,203           78,747          3,389

William H. Lagos            37,404         234,057           --             8,802            --               --

</TABLE>
- --------------------
1        Each of these Options relates to Common Stock.

2        These values are based on $13.50, the closing price of Common Stock on
         December 31, 1996.


Employment Agreements

         The Company  entered into an employment  agreement with Ms. Derrico in 
1985 for a term of three years with automatic one-year extensions  commencing on
the first  anniversary of the agreement.  Annual salary reviews are performed by
the Compensation Committee. Mr. Porter, Ms. Derrico and Mr. de Give abstain from
voting on any compensation issue affecting Ms. Derrico.

         If, during the term of the  agreement,  there is a change in control of
the Company and within six months  thereafter  Ms.  Derrico's  employment is (i)
involuntarily  terminated  or (ii)  voluntarily  terminated  and such  change of
control was at any time opposed by the Board,  Ms.  Derrico shall be entitled to
receive  severance  pay equal to 50% of her current  compensation  for each full
year of  employment  with the  Company up to a maximum of 299% of the average of
such year's compensation and that of the four preceding calendar years. The term
"change in control" as used in the agreement  shall refer to the  acquisition of
25% or more of the voting  securities  of the Company by any person,  or persons
acting as a group within the definition of Section 13(d) of the Exchange Act, or
to such acquisition of a percentage  between 10% and 25% if the Board has made a
determination  that such acquisition  constitutes or will constitute  control of
the Company.

                                      -11-
<PAGE>

Compensation of Directors

         Until July 1, 1995, each member of the Board who was not an employee of
the Company or any of its  subsidiaries was paid (i) $400 for attendance at each
Board meeting and (ii) $100 for attendance at each meeting of a committee of the
Board  of  which  he or she was a  member.  Directors  are not  compensated  for
meetings  conducted by  teleconference.  In addition,  each director was paid an
annual fee of $1,000.  Employee members of the Board are not paid separately for
their service on the Board or its committees.

         Effective July 1, 1995, each nonemployee director was paid a fee of (i)
$500 for  attendance at each Board meeting and (ii) $100 for  attendance at each
meeting of a committee of the Board of which he or she is a member. In addition,
each director was paid an annual fee of $2,000.

         Beginning in calendar  year 1996,  each such  director is paid (i) $500
for  attendance  at each  Board  meeting  and (ii) $150 for  attendance  at each
meeting of a  committee  of the Board of which he or she is a member.  Effective
January 1, 1997, each such director shall be paid an annual fee of $3,000.

                                      -12-
<PAGE>


                           APPROVAL OF AN AMENDMENT TO
                      1993 STOCK OPTION AND INCENTIVE PLAN


Introduction

         On August 18,  1993,  the Board of the Company  approved the 1993 Stock
Option and Incentive Plan (the "Stock Option Plan"),  which was submitted to and
approved by the shareholders on September 29, 1993.

         The Stock  Option Plan is intended to provide a means for  selected key
employees of the Company to increase  their personal  financial  interest in the
Company,  thereby  stimulating the efforts of these employees and  strengthening
their desire to remain with the  Company.  References  to the  "Company" in this
section will include any subsidiary corporation.

         The  principal  features of the Stock  Option  Plan,  as  amended,  are
summarized  below. The summary is qualified by reference to the complete text of
the Stock Option Plan, as amended, which is attached as Exhibit A.

General

         The Stock  Option  Plan  initially  authorized  the  issuance  of up to
100,000 shares of Common Stock to assist the Company in recruiting and retaining
key  management  personnel.   On  January  30,  1995,  the  Company  effected  a
four-for-three  stock  split,  and on August 16, 1995 and August 16,  1996,  the
Company effected 10% stock dividends.  Accounting for these adjustments,  of the
161,000  shares  authorized  under the Stock  Option  Plan,  options to purchase
158,113  shares have been granted and 2,887 shares  remain  available for grants
and awards  under the Stock Option  Plan.  The Stock  Option  Plan,  as amended,
reserves  261,000  shares.  At January 31, 1997 the market  value of the 100,000
additional shares that will be issuable under the Stock Option Plan, as amended,
was $1,375,000.  Except for increasing the number of shares issuable,  the Stock
Option Plan has not been  amended.  The benefits  receivable by employees of the
Company under the Stock Option Plan, as amended,  are not determinable.  For the
year ended December 31, 1996, 66,029 Options were granted under the Stock Option
Plan. Individual grants to the named executive officers are shown in the Summary
Compensation Table.

         The Stock  Option  Plan will  permit the award of shares of  Restricted
Stock,  Incentive  Stock  Options and  Non-Qualified  Stock  Options to eligible
officers and key employees  upon such terms as the Stock Option  Committee  (the
"Committee") of the Board may determine,  consistent with the terms of the Stock
Option Plan.

Administration

         The Stock Option Plan is administered by the Committee,  which shall be
composed of three or more disinterested  directors. The members of the Committee
are  ineligible to receive awards under the Stock Option Plan. The Committee has
the sole  discretion,  subject to certain  limitations,  to interpret  the Stock
Option Plan;  to select Stock Option Plan  participants;  to determine the type,
size,  terms and  conditions of awards under the Stock Option Plan; to authorize
the grant of such awards;  and to adopt, amend and rescind rules relating to the
Stock Option Plan.  All  determinations  of the  Committee are  conclusive.  All
expenses of administering the Stock Option Plan will be borne by the Company.

                                      -13-
<PAGE>

Eligibility

         Any officer or employee of the Company or its subsidiaries  who, in the
judgment of the Committee,  has contributed  significantly or can be expected to
contribute significantly to the profits or growth of the Company or a subsidiary
is eligible to  participate  in the Stock Option Plan.  Directors of the Company
who are employees may also participate in the Stock Option Plan.

Individual Agreements

         The  Committee has broad  authority to fix the terms and  conditions of
the individual  agreements with participants.  All awards granted under the Plan
are  intended  to  comply  with  the  applicable   requirements  of  Rule  16b-3
promulgated  under the  Exchange  Act,  which  exempts  grants and awards  under
qualifying  employee  benefit plans from certain  "short-swing"  profit recovery
provisions of the Exchange Act.

Shares Available

         Subject  to the  provisions  of the Stock  Option  Plan  providing  for
proportional  adjustments in the event of various changes in the  capitalization
of the Company,  no more than 261,000 shares of authorized  but unissued  Common
Stock may be issued  pursuant to the Stock Option  Plan.  Under the Stock Option
Plan, options to purchase 158,113 shares of Common Stock have been granted.  Any
shares of Common  Stock  subject to an Incentive  Stock Option or  Non-Qualified
Stock Option that are not issued prior to the expiration of such awards,  or any
Restricted  Stock award that is  forfeited,  will again be  available  for award
under the Stock Option Plan.

Incentive Stock Options and Non-Qualified Stock Options ("Options")

         The Committee may authorize the grant of either Incentive Stock Options
("ISOs"),  as defined under Section 422 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, as
amended, or Non-Qualified Stock Options ("NQSOs"),  which are subject to certain
terms and  conditions  including the  following:  (1) the option price per share
will be determined by the Committee but for ISOs will not, in any event, be less
than 100 percent of the fair market  value of Common  Stock on the date that the
Option is granted;  (2) the term of the Option  will be fixed by the  Committee,
but the maximum period in which an ISO may be exercised shall not, in any event,
exceed  ten years  from the date the ISO is  granted;  (3)  Options  will not be
transferable other than by will or the laws of descent and distribution; (4) the
purchase price of Common Stock issued upon exercise of an Option will be paid in
full to the Company at the time of the exercise of the Option in cash, or at the
discretion of the Committee,  by surrender to the Company of previously acquired
shares of Common  Stock,  which will be valued at the fair market  value of such
shares on the date preceding the date the Option is exercised; (5) an Option may
expire upon termination of employment or within a specified period of time after
termination of employment as provided by the  Committee;  (6) the aggregate fair
market  value  (determined  on the date of grant) of the shares of Common  Stock
with respect to which ISOs are  exercisable for the first time by any individual
during any calendar  year shall not exceed  $100,000;  and (7) the Committee may
elect to cash out all or part of the portion of any Option to be  exercised by a
participant  by  payment  in cash or  Common  Stock of an amount  determined  in
accordance with the Plan.

Restricted Stock

         The  Committee  may  authorize  the  award  of  Restricted  Stock  to a
participant.  In the case of Restricted  Stock, the Committee may prescribe that
the participant's rights in the Restricted Stock shall be forfeited or otherwise
restricted  for a  period  of time set by the  Committee  and/or  until  certain
financial 

                                      -14-
<PAGE>

performance  objectives are satisfied as determined by the Committee in its sole
discretion.  During the period of restriction, a participant will be entitled to
beneficial  ownership of the  Restricted  Stock,  including the right to receive
dividends, warrants and rights and the right to vote the shares, but will not be
entitled to certificates representing the Restricted Stock or to sell, transfer,
assign, pledge or otherwise dispose of the shares.

Change of Control

         At the  discretion  of the  Committee,  in the  event  of a  Change  in
Control,  any outstanding  Option may become fully exercisable and vested to the
full extent of the original grant and any restrictions  applicable to Restricted
Stock  outstanding on the date of a Change in Control shall lapse, such that the
Restricted Stock becomes free of all restrictions and fully vested, nonforfeited
and  transferable  to the full extent of the original  grant.  The Committee may
also provide that under such  circumstances  a participant may elect to receive,
in exchange for shares that were  Restricted  Stock, a cash payment equal to the
fair market  value of the shares  surrendered.  Under the Stock  Option  Plan, a
"Change of Control"  shall be deemed to have taken place if: (i) a third person,
including a "group" as defined in Section  13(d)(3) of the  Exchange Act becomes
the  beneficial  owner of shares of Common Stock having 20% or more of the total
number of votes that may be cast for the  election of  directors of the Company,
or (ii) as the result of, or in  connection  with,  any cash or exchange  offer,
merger or other business  combination,  sale of assets or contested election, or
any combination of the foregoing transactions (a "Transaction"), the persons who
were Directors of the Company before the Transaction shall cease to constitute a
majority of the Board of the Company or any successor to the Company.

Amendment or Termination

         The Board may amend or terminate  the Stock Option  Plan;  however,  no
amendment may become  effective  until  shareholder  approval is obtained if the
amendment (i)  materially  increases the aggregate  number of shares that may be
issued  pursuant  to  Options  and  Restricted  Stock  awards,  (ii)  materially
increases  the benefits to  participants  under the Stock Option Plan,  or (iii)
materially  changes the requirements as to eligibility for  participation in the
Stock  Option  Plan.  No  amendment  shall,  without  a  participant's  consent,
adversely affect any rights of such  participant  under any Option or Restricted
Stock award  outstanding  at the time that such  amendment is made. No amendment
shall be made if it would  disqualify  the Stock Option Plan from the  exemption
provided by Rule 16b-3.

Duration of Plan

         No Option or  Restricted  Stock  award may be  granted  under this Plan
after  September 29, 2003.  Options and  Restricted  Stock awards granted before
September 29, 2003, shall remain valid in accordance with their terms.

Tax Status

         Under  current  Federal  income tax laws,  the  principal  Federal  tax
consequences  to  participants  and to the Company of the grant and  exercise of
Incentive  Stock  Options  and  Non-Qualified  Stock  Options  or the  award  of
Restricted  Stock  and  the  lapse  of  restriction  thereon,  pursuant  to  the
provisions of the Stock Option Plan, are summarized below.

         1. Incentive Stock Options. No income results to a participant upon the
grant or exercise of an Incentive  Stock  Option,  provided that (1) there is no
disqualifying  disposition  of option  stock within two years after grant of the
Option or one year after the transfer of such option  stock to the  participant;
and (2) 


                                      -15-
<PAGE>


the  participant  is an  employee of the  Company or a  subsidiary  at all times
during the period  commencing  on the date of grant and ending on the date three
months (or 12 months in the case of a participant who is totally and permanently
disabled) prior to the date of exercise. In the event of a disposition of option
stock  following  the  expiration of two years after the grant of the Option and
one year after the transfer of such stock to the participant,  any gain or loss,
equal to the difference  between the amount  realized upon such  disposition and
the option price,  generally will be taxable as long-term  capital gain or loss.
In the  event  of a  disqualifying  disposition  of  option  stock  prior to the
expiration  of  the  two or one  year  holding  periods,  the  participant  will
recognize  ordinary  income  equal to the  excess of the  lesser of (i) the fair
market  value of the  option  stock at the time of  exercise  or (ii) the amount
realized  upon the  disqualifying  disposition,  over the option  price.  If the
amount realized upon the disqualifying disposition exceeds the fair market value
of the  option  stock at the time of  exercise,  the  excess  will be taxable as
short-term   capital  gain.  If  the  amount  realized  upon  the  disqualifying
disposition is less than the option price,  the  participant  will not recognize
ordinary income but will recognize a short-term capital loss equal to the excess
of the option price over the amount realized. Gain realized upon the exercise of
an  Incentive  Stock  Option will also be taken into  account in  computing  the
participant's liability for the alternative minimum tax.

         No  deduction is allowable to the Company upon the grant or exercise of
an Incentive Stock Option. In the event that a participant  recognizes  ordinary
income as a result of a  disqualifying  disposition  of the  option  stock,  the
Company  generally  will be entitled to a  deduction  in an amount  equal to the
ordinary income recognized by the participant.

         2. Non-Qualified  Stock Options. No income is recognized upon the grant
of a Non-Qualified  Stock Option to a participant  assuming that the Option does
not have a readily ascertainable fair market value at the time of the grant. The
participant  recognizes ordinary income upon exercise of the Non-Qualified Stock
Option  equal to the excess of the fair market  value of the option stock on the
date of exercise over the option  price.  If the  participant  is subject to the
provisions  of Section  16(b) of the Exchange  Act,  recognition  of income upon
exercise  and  receipt of Common  Stock may be  postponed  until any  applicable
Section  16(b)  holding  periods  or  restrictions   have  lapsed,   unless  the
participant elects to be taxed at the date of exercise. The Company is allowed a
corresponding  tax deduction at the time that  ordinary  income is recognized by
the participant.

         3. Restricted Stock. A participant generally will not recognize taxable
income  upon  the  award  of  Restricted  Stock.  Instead,  ordinary  income  is
recognized at the time the restrictions  lapse equal to the fair market value of
the  Restricted  Stock on that date. If the  participant  is also subject to the
provisions of Section 16(b) of the Exchange Act,  recognition of income upon the
lapse of restrictions on the Restricted Stock may be further postponed until any
applicable  Section  16(b)  holdings  periods or  restrictions  have  lapsed.  A
participant,  however,  may  elect  to be  taxed  at the  time of the  award  of
Restricted  Stock and, if this election is made, the participant  will recognize
ordinary  income equal to the fair market value of such stock at the time of the
award determined without regard to any of the restrictions thereon.

         The Company will generally be entitled to a corresponding tax deduction
at the time that the participant  recognizes ordinary income with respect to the
Restricted Stock.


THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS  RECOMMENDS  THAT THE  SHAREHOLDERS  VOTE IN FAVOR OF THE
AMENDMENT TO THE 1993 STOCK OPTION AND INCENTIVE PLAN. AN AFFIRMATIVE  VOTE OF A
MAJORITY OF THE SHARES  PRESENT IN PERSON OR  REPRESENTED BY PROXY AT THE ANNUAL
MEETING IS REQUIRED FOR APPROVAL OF THIS PROPOSAL.


                                      -16-
<PAGE>



                             DESIGNATION OF AUDITORS

         The  Board  has  designated  Arthur  Anderson  LLP,   Certified  Public
Accountants,  as the Company's  independent  auditors for the fiscal year ending
December  31,  1997,  subject to  shareholder  approval.  This firm  audited the
Company's financial  statements for the fiscal year ended June 30, 1995, the six
month period ended  December 31, 1995,  and the year ended  December 31, 1996. A
representative  of Arthur  Anderson  is  expected  to be  present  at the Annual
Meeting,  will have the  opportunity to make a statement if he or she desires to
do so, and is expected to be available to respond to appropriate questions.

         The  principal  function  of  Arthur  Anderson  LLP  is  to  audit  the
consolidated  financial  statements of the Company and its subsidiaries  and, in
connection  with  that  audit,  to  review  certain  related  filings  with  the
Securities  and  Exchange  Commission  and to  conduct  limited  reviews  of the
financial statements included in each of the Company's quarterly reports.

         The Company's  financial  statements  have  previously  been audited by
Price Waterhouse, Certified Public Accountants, for the fiscal years ending June
30,  1986  through  1994.  On October 27,  1994,  Price  Waterhouse  resigned as
independent  auditors  for  the  Company.  Price  Waterhouse's  reports  on  the
Company's  financial  statements  for the last two  years of Price  Waterhouse's
engagement contained no adverse opinion or a disclaimer of opinion, and were not
qualified or modified as to uncertainty,  audit scope, or accounting principles.
For the Company's last two fiscal years and any interim periods  preceding Price
Waterhouse's  resignation,  there were no disagreements with Price Waterhouse on
any  matter  of  accounting   principles  or  practices,   financial   statement
disclosure, or auditing scope or procedure, which disagreements, if not resolved
to the  satisfaction  of  Price  Waterhouse,  would  have  caused  it to  make a
reference  to the subject  matter of the  disagreement  in  connection  with its
report.

         The Company  engaged the  services  of Arthur  Anderson  LLP as its new
independent  accountants  as of January  19,  1995.  During the two most  recent
fiscal years and the interim  period prior to January 19, 1995,  the Company did
not consult with Arthur Anderson LLP on items which (i) were or should have been
subject  to SAS 50 or (ii)  concern  the  subject  matter of a  disagreement  or
reportable  event with the former  auditor as  described  in Item  304(a)(2)  of
Regulation S-K under the Exchange Act.


                              FINANCIAL STATEMENTS

         A copy of the Company's Annual Report on Form 10-K for the period ended
December 31, 1996, to be filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission, will
be provided on written request without charge to any shareholder  whose proxy is
being solicited by the Board. The written request should be directed to:

                               Lynette D. Ridgley
                              Shareholder Relations
                        Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc.
                                37 E. Main Street
                            Warrenton, Virginia 20186


                                      -17-
<PAGE>


                        PROPOSALS FOR 1998 ANNUAL MEETING

         Any  shareholder  desiring  to make a proposal  to be acted upon at the
1998 annual meeting of shareholders must present such proposal to the Company at
its principal office at 37 E. Main Street,  Warrenton,  Virginia, not later than
November 17, 1997, in order for the proposal to be  considered  for inclusion in
the Company's proxy statement.  The Company  anticipates holding the 1998 annual
meeting on April 23, 1998.


                                  OTHER MATTERS

         The Board is not aware of any matters to be presented for action at the
meeting other than as set forth herein.  However,  if any other matters properly
come  before the  meeting,  or any  adjournment  thereof,  the person or persons
voting the proxies will vote them in accordance with their best judgment.

                                         By Order of the Board of Directors



                                         Lynette D. Ridgley, Secretary




                                      -18-
<PAGE>
                                                                      Exhibit A

                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.

                      1993 STOCK OPTION AND INCENTIVE PLAN
                                  (as amended)


         1.       Plan  Purpose.  The purpose of the Plan is to promote the  
long-term interests of the Institution and its stockholders by providing a means
for attracting and retaining  officers and key employees of the  Institution and
its Affiliates.  It is intended that designated  Options granted pursuant to the
provisions of this Plan to persons employed on a full-time basis will qualify as
Incentive  Stock  Options.  Options  granted  to persons  who are not  full-time
employees will be Non-Qualified Stock Options.

         2.       Definitions.  The following definitions are applicable to the
 Plan:

                  (a)      "Affiliate"  --  means  any  "parent   corporation" 
or  "subsidiary  corporation"  of the  Institution  as such terms are defined in
Section 424(e) and (f), respectively, of the Code.

                  (b)      "Award"  --  means  the  grant  by  the  Committee  
of an Incentive Stock Option, a Non-Qualified Stock Option, or Restricted Stock,
or any combination thereof, as provided in the Plan.

                  (c)      "Code" -- means the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, as
 amended.

                  (d)      "Committee" -- means the Committee referred to in 
Section 3 hereof.

                  (e)      "Continuous   Service"  --  means  the  absence  of  
any  interruption  or  termination  of service as an officer or  employee of the
Institution  or an  Affiliate,  except  that when used with  respect  to persons
granted an Incentive Stock Option shall mean the absence of any  interruption or
termination  of  service  as a  full-time  employee  of  the  Institution  or an
Affiliate.  Service  shall  not be  considered  interrupted  in the case of sick
leave,  military leave or any other leave of absence approved by the Institution
or in the case of transfers  between  payroll  locations of the  Institution  or
between payroll  locations of the Institution,  its parent,  its subsidiaries or
its successor.

                  (f)      "Disinterested  Person" -- means any person  who,  at
the time discretion  under the Plan is exercised,  is not eligible,  and who has
not at any time within one year prior thereto been eligible,  for selection as a
Participant in the Plan or as a person to whom stock may be allocated or to whom
stock options or stock appreciation  rights may be granted pursuant to any other


                                      A-1
<PAGE>


plan of the  Institution  or any of its  affiliates (as that term is used in the
Securities  Exchange Act of 1934) entitling the participants  therein to acquire
stock, stock options or stock  appreciation  rights of the Institution or of any
such affiliates.

                  (g)      "Employee"  --  means  any  person,  including  an  
Officer, who is employed by the Institution or any Affiliate.

                  (h)      "Exercise Price" -- means the price per Share at 
which the Shares  subject to an Option may be  purchased  upon  exercise of such
Option.

                  (i)      "Incentive  Stock  Option" -- means an option to 
purchase  Shares granted by the Committee  pursuant to Section 6 hereof which is
subject to the limitations and  restrictions of Section 8 hereof and is intended
to qualify under Section 422 of the Code.

                  (j)      "Institution" -- means Southern Financial Bancorp, 
Inc., a Virginia corporation.

                  (k)      "Market  Value" -- means the  average of the high and
low quoted sales price on the date in question (or, if there is no reported sale
on such date, on the last preceding date on which any reported sale occurred) of
a Share on the Composite Tape for the New York Stock Exchange-Listed Stocks, or,
if on such date the Shares are not quoted on the Composite Tape, on the New York
Stock Exchange,  or, if the Shares are not listed or admitted to trading on such
Exchange,  on the principal United States securities  exchange  registered under
the  Securities  Exchange Act of 1934 on which the Shares are listed or admitted
to trading,  or, if the Shares are not listed or admitted to trading on any such
exchange,  the mean between the closing high bid and low asked  quotations  with
respect  to a Share  on such  date on the  National  Association  of  Securities
Dealers,  Inc.,  Automated Quotations System, or any similar system then in use,
or, if no such quotations are available, the fair market value on such date of a
Share as the Committee shall determine.

                  (l)      "Non-Qualified  Stock  Option"  --  means  an  option
to purchase Shares granted by the Committee pursuant to Section 6 hereof,  which
option is not intended to qualify under Section 422 of the Code.

                  (m)      "Option" -- means an Incentive Stock Option or a 
Non-Qualified Stock Option.

                  (n)      "Participant"  -- means any officer or key employee
of the  Institution or any Affiliate who is selected by the Committee to receive
an Award.

                  (o)      "Plan" -- means the 1993 Stock Option and Incentive 
Plan of the Institution.

                                      A-2
<PAGE>

                  (p)      "Restricted  Period" -- means the period of time 
selected by the Committee for the purpose of determining  when  restrictions are
in effect under Section 9 hereof with respect to Restricted  Stock awarded under
the Plan.

                  (q)      "Restricted  Stock"  --  means  Shares  which  have 
been  contingently  awarded to a  Participant  by the  Committee  subject to the
restrictions  referred to in Section 9 hereof,  so long as such restrictions are
in effect.

                  (r)      "Shares"  -- means the  shares of  capital  stock,  
par value $0.01 per share, of the Institution.

         3.       Administration.  The Plan  shall  be  administered  by a  
Committee  consisting  of  three  or  more  members,  each of  whom  shall  be a
Disinterested  Person.  The members of the  Committee  shall be appointed by the
Board  of  Directors  of the  Institution.  Except  as  limited  by the  express
provisions of the Plan, the Committee shall have sole and complete authority and
discretion  to (i) select  Participants  and grant  Awards;  (ii)  determine the
number of  Shares to be  subject  to types of  Awards  generally,  as well as to
individual  Awards  granted  under  the  Plan;  (iii)  determine  the  terms and
conditions upon which Awards shall be granted under the Plan; (iv) prescribe the
form and terms of  instruments  evidencing  such grants;  and (v) establish from
time to time regulations for the administration of the Plan; interpret the Plan,
and make all determinations  deemed necessary or advisable or the administration
of the  Plan.  The  Committee  may  maintain,  and  update  from time to time as
appropriate,  a list designating  selected directors,  officers and employees as
Disinterested  Persons. The purpose of such list shall be to evidence the status
of such  individuals as  Disinterested  Persons,  and the Board of Directors may
appoint to the Committee any individual  actually  qualifying as a Disinterested
Person, regardless of whether identified as such on said list.

         A majority of the Committee shall constitute a quorum,  and the acts of
a majority of the  members  present at any meeting at which a quorum is present,
or acts  approved in writing by a majority of the  Committee  without a meeting,
shall be acts of the Committee.

         4.       Participants.   The   Committee  may  select  from  time  to 
time  Participants in the Plan from those officers and key employees (other than
Disinterested Persons), of the Institution or its Affiliates who, in the opinion
of the Committee, have the capacity for contributing in a substantial measure to
the successful performance of the Institution or its Affiliates.

         5.       Shares  Subject to Plan.  Subject to  adjustment by the 
operation  of Section 10 hereof,  the maximum  number of Shares with  respect to
which  Awards may be made under the Plan is 261,000.  The Shares with respect to
which  Awards may be made under the Plan may either be  authorized  and unissued
shares  or  unissued  

                                      A-3
<PAGE>

shares heretofore or hereafter  reacquired and held as treasury shares. An Award
shall not be  considered  to have been made  under the Plan with  respect to any
Option which  terminates or with respect to Restricted Stock which is forfeited,
and new  Awards  may be  granted  under the Plan with  respect  to the number of
Shares as to which such termination or forfeiture has occurred.

         6.       General Terms and  Conditions of Options.  The Committee shall
have full and complete authority and discretion,  except as expressly limited by
the Plan, to grant Options and to provide the terms and  conditions  (which need
not be identical among Participants) thereof. In particular, the Committee shall
prescribe  the following  terms and  conditions:  (i) the Exercise  Price of any
Option,  which shall not be less than the Market  Value per Share at the date of
grant of such Option,  (ii) the number of Shares  subject to, and the expiration
date of, any Option,  which  expiration date shall not exceed ten years from the
date of grant,  (iii) the manner,  time and rate  (cumulative  or  otherwise) of
exercise of such Option,  provided,  however, that except as otherwise specified
in the Plan, no Option shall be exercisable  prior to the expiration of one year
from the date of grant,  and (iv) the  restrictions,  if any,  to be placed upon
such Option or upon Shares which may be issued upon exercise of such Option. The
Committee may, as a condition of granting any Option, require that a Participant
agree not to thereafter  exercise one or more Options previously granted to such
Participant.

         7.       Exercise of Options.

                  (a)      An  Option  granted  under the Plan  shall be  
exercisable  during the  lifetime  of the  Participant  to whom such  Option was
granted only by such  Participant,  and except as provided in paragraphs (c) and
(d) of this Section 7, no such Option may be  exercised  unless at the time such
Participant  exercises such Option,  such Participant has maintained  Continuous
Service since the date of grant of such Option.

                  (b)      To exercise an Option under the Plan, the Participant
to whom such Option was granted shall give written notice to the  Institution in
form  satisfactory  to the  Committee  (and,  if  partial  exercises  have  been
permitted by the  Committee,  by specifying the number of Shares with respect to
which such  Participant  elects to  exercise  such  Option)  together  with full
payment of the Exercise  Price, if any and to the extent  required.  The date of
exercise shall be the date on which such notice is received by the  Institution.
Payment, if any is required,  shall be made either (i) in cash (including check,
bank draft or money order) or (ii) if permitted by the Committee,  by delivering
(A) Shares already owned by the Participant and having a fair market value equal
to the  applicable  exercise  price,  such fair market value to be determined in
such  appropriate  manner  as may be  provided  by  the  Committee  or as may be
required in order to 


                                      A-4
<PAGE>


comply with or to conform to requirements of any applicable laws or regulations,
or (B) a combination of cash and such Shares.

                  (c)      If a Participant to whom an Option was granted shall
cease to maintain Continuous Service for any reason (including total and partial
disability and normal and early retirement,  but excluding death and termination
of employment by the  Institution  or any Affiliate for cause) such  Participant
may but only  within  the period of three  months  immediately  succeeding  such
cessation of Continuous  Service and in no event after  expiration  date of such
Option, exercise such Option to the extent that such Participant was entitled to
exercise such Option at the date of such cessation, provided, however, that such
right of exercise after  cessation of Continuous  Service shall not be available
to a Participant  if the Committee  otherwise  determines and so provides in the
applicable instrument or instruments evidencing the grant of such Option. If the
Continuous  Service  of a  Participant  to whom an  Option  was  granted  by the
Institution  is  terminated  for  cause,  all  rights  under any  Option of such
Participant  shall  expire  immediately  upon the giving to the  Participant  of
notice of such termination.

                  (d)      In the  event of the death of a  Participant while in
the  Continuous  Service of the  Institution or an Affiliate or within the three
month period  referred to in paragraph (c) of this Section 7, the person to whom
any Option held by the  Participant  at the time of his death is  transferred by
will or by the laws of descent  and  distribution  may  exercise  such Option or
right at any time  within a period of one year  succeeding  the date of death of
such  Participant,  but only to the extent  such  Participant  was  entitled  to
exercise such Option  immediately  prior to his death and in no event later than
ten  years  from the date of grant of such  Option.  Following  the death of any
Participant  to whom an Option was granted under the Plan, the Committee may, as
an alternative means of settlement of such Option, elect to pay to the person to
whom  such  Option  is  transferred  by  will  or by the  laws  of  descent  and
distribution  the  amount  by which  the  Market  Value per Share on the date of
exercise  of such  Option  shall  exceed  the  Exercise  Price  of such  Option,
multiplied by the number of Shares with respect to which such Option is properly
exercised.  Any such  settlement of an Option shall be considered an exercise of
such Option for all purposes of the Plan.

         8.       Incentive Stock Options. Incentive Stock Options may be 
granted only to Participants who are Employees. Any provision of the Plan to the
contrary  notwithstanding,  (i) no Incentive  Stock Option shall be granted more
than ten years from the date the Plan is adopted  by the Board of  Directors  of
the Institution and no Incentive Stock Option shall be exercisable more than ten
years from the date such  Incentive  Stock Option is granted,  (ii) the Exercise
Price of any Incentive  Stock Option shall not be less than the Market Value per
Share on the date such  Incentive  Stock Option is granted,  (iii) any Incentive
Stock Option shall 


                                      A-5
<PAGE>

not be  transferable  by the  Participant to whom such Incentive Stock Option is
granted other than by will or the laws of descent and  distribution and shall be
exercisable during such Participant's lifetime only by such Participant, (iv) no
Incentive  Stock Option shall be granted to any individual who, at the time such
Incentive Stock Option is granted,  owns stock  possessing more than ten percent
of the total combined voting power of all classes of stock of the Institution or
Affiliate  unless the Exercise Price of such Incentive  Stock Option is at least
110  percent  of the  Market  Value  per  Share at the  date of  grant  and such
Incentive  Stock Option is not  exercisable  after the  expiration of five years
from the date such  Incentive  Stock  Option is granted,  and (v) the  aggregate
Market Value  (determined as of the time any Incentive  Stock Option is granted)
of the Shares with respect to which  Incentive Stock Options are exercisable for
the first time by a Participant in any calendar year shall not exceed $100,000.

         9.       Terms and Conditions of Restricted  Stock.  The Committee 
shall have full and complete authority,  subject to the limitations of the Plan,
to grant awards of Restricted Stock and, in addition to the terms and conditions
contained in paragraphs (a) through (f) of this Section 9, to provide such other
terms and conditions (which need not be identical among Participants) in respect
of such Awards,  and the vesting  thereof,  as the Committee shall determine and
provide in the agreement referred to in paragraph (d) of this Section 9.

                  (a)      At the time of an award of Restricted Stock, the 
Committee shall establish for each Participant a Restricted  Period during which
or at the expiration of which, as the Committee shall determine and provide,  in
the agreement referred to in paragraph (d) of this Section 9, the shares awarded
and Restricted Stock shall vest and subject to any other terms and conditions as
the  Committee  shall  provide  shares  of  Restricted  Stock  may not be  sold,
assigned,  transferred,  pledged or  otherwise  encumbered  by the  Participant,
except as hereinafter  provided,  during the Restricted Period.  Except for such
restrictions,  and subject to paragraphs  (c), (d) and (e) of this Section 9 and
Section 10 hereof,  the  Participant  as owner of such shares shall have all the
rights of a  stockholder  including  but not limited to the right to receive all
dividends  paid on such shares and the right to vote such shares.  The Committee
shall have the authority, in its discretion, to accelerate the time at which any
or all of the restrictions  shall lapse with respect to any shares of Restricted
Stock prior to the expiration of the Restricted Period with respect thereto,  or
to remove any or all of such  restrictions,  whenever it may determine that such
action is  appropriate  by reason of changes in applicable  tax or other laws or
other  changes  in  circumstances  occurring  after  the  commencement  of  such
Restricted Period.

                  (b)      Except as provided in Section 12 hereof,  if a 
Participant  ceases to maintain  Continuous  Service for any reason  


                                      A-6
<PAGE>

(other than death,  total or partial  disability or normal or early  retirement)
unless the  Committee  shall  otherwise  determine  and provide in the agreement
referred to in paragraph (d) of this Section 9, all shares of  Restricted  Stock
theretofore  awarded  to  such  Participant  and  which  at  the  time  of  such
termination  of Continuous  Service are subject to the  restrictions  imposed by
paragraph  (a) of this  Section 9 shall  upon  such  termination  of  Continuous
Service be forfeited and returned to the Institution. Unless the Committee shall
have  provided in the  agreement  referred to in paragraph (d) of this Section 9
for a  ratable  lapse of  restrictions  with  respect  to an award of  shares of
Restricted  Stock  during the  Restricted  Period,  if a  Participant  ceases to
maintain  Continuous  Service by reason of death, total or partial disability or
normal or early  retirement,  such  portion of such shares of  Restricted  Stock
awarded to such Participant  which at the time of such termination of Continuous
Service are subject to the restrictions imposed by paragraph (a) of this Section
9 as shall be equal to the portion of the Restricted Period with respect to such
shares which shall have elapsed at the time of such  termination  of  Continuous
Service shall be free of restrictions and shall not be forfeited.

                  (c)      Each certificate issued in respect of shares of 
Restricted  Stock  awarded under the Plan shall be registered in the name of the
Participant  and  deposited  by the  Participant,  together  with a stock  power
endorsed  in blank,  with the  Institution  and shall bear the  following  (or a
similar) legend:

          "The  transferability  of this  certificate  and the  
          shares  of stock represented hereby are subject to the 
          terms and conditions  (including forfeiture)  contained 
          in the 1993 Stock Option and Incentive Plan, as amended, 
          of Southern Financial Bancorp,  Inc. and an Agreement 
          entered into between the registered owner and Southern 
          Financial Bancorp, Inc. Copies of such  Plan and  Agreement  
          are on file in the  Office of the Secretary  of Southern  
          Financial  Bancorp,  Inc.,  37 E. Main Street, Warrenton, 
          Virginia 20186."

                  (d)      At the time of an award of shares of Restricted 
Stock,  the Participant  shall enter into an Agreement with the Institution in a
form  specified by the  Committee,  agreeing to the terms and  conditions of the
award and such  other  matters  as the  Committee  shall in its sole  discretion
determine.

                  (e)      At the time of an award of shares of Restricted 
Stock,  the Committee may, in its discretion,  determine that the payment to the
Participant of dividends  declared or paid on such shares by the  Institution or
specified  portion thereof,  shall be deferred until the earlier to occur of (i)
the lapsing of the restrictions imposed under paragraph (a) of this Section 9 or
(ii) the  forfeiture  of such shares under  paragraph (b) of this Section 9, and
shall be held by the Institution  for the account of the Participant  until such
time. In the event of such 


                                      A-7
<PAGE>


deferral,  there shall be credited at the end of each year (or portion  thereof)
interest on the amount of the account at the beginning of the year at a rate per
annum as the Committee,  in its discretion,  may determine.  Payment of deferred
dividends,  together with interest  accrued thereon as aforesaid,  shall be made
upon  the  earlier  to  occur  of the  events  specified  in (i) and (ii) of the
immediately preceding sentence.

                  (f)      At the expiration of the restrictions imposed by 
paragraph  (a) of  this  Section  9,  the  Institution  shall  redeliver  to the
Participant (or where the relevant  provision of paragraph (b) of this Section 9
applies  in the case of a  deceased  Participant,  to his legal  representative,
beneficiary  or heir)  the  certificate(s)  of  stock  power  deposited  with it
pursuant to paragraph (c) of this Section 9 and the Shares  represented  by such
certificate(s) shall be free of the restrictions referred to in paragraph (a) of
this Section 9.

         10.      Adjustments  Upon Changes in  Capitalization.  In the event of
any change in the  outstanding  Shares  subsequent to the effective  date of the
Plan by reason  of any  reorganization,  recapitalization,  stock  split,  stock
dividend, combination or exchange of shares, merger, consolidation or any change
in the corporate  structure or Shares of the Institution,  the maximum aggregate
number of class of shares as to which  Awards may be granted  under the Plan and
the number and class of shares with  respect to which  Awards  theretofore  have
been granted under the Plan shall be  appropriately  adjusted by the  Committee,
whose determination shall be conclusive. Any shares of stock or other securities
received, as a result of any of the foregoing,  by a Participant with respect to
Restricted   Stock   shall  be  subject  to  the  same   restrictions   and  the
certificate(s)  or other  instruments  representing or evidencing such shares or
securities  shall be legended and deposited  with the  Institution in the manner
provided in Section 9 hereof.

         11.      Effect  of  Merger  on  Options.   In the case of any merger,
consolidation   or  combination  of  the  Institution   (other  than  a  merger,
consolidation  or combination in which the Institution is the continuing  entity
and which does not result in the  outstanding  Shares  being  converted  into or
exchanged for different  securities,  cash or other property, or any combination
thereof),  any  Participant  to whom an Option has been  granted  under the Plan
shall  have  the  right  to  (subject  to the  provisions  of the  Plan  and any
limitation  applicable to such Option),  thereafter  and during the term of each
such Option to receive  different  securities,  cash or other  property,  or any
combination  thereof,  any  Participant to whom an Option has been granted under
the Plan shall have the right  (subject  to the  provisions  of the Plan and any
limitation  applicable to such Option),  thereafter  and during the term of each
such  Option,  to receive  upon  exercise  of any Option an amount  equal to the
excess of the fair market value on the date of such exercise of the  securities,
cash or other  property,  or combination  thereof,  receivable upon such 


                                      A-8
<PAGE>

merger,  consolidation  or  combination  in respect of a Share over the Exercise
Price of such Option,  multiplied  by the number of Shares with respect to which
such Option shall have been exercised. Such amount may be payable fully in cash,
fully in one or more of the kind or kinds of  property  payable in such  merger,
consolidation  or combination,  or partly in cash and partly in one or more such
kind or kinds of property, all in the discretion of the Committee.

         12.      Effect of Change in Control.  Each of the events  specified in
the  following  clauses (i) through  (iii) of this  Section 12 shall be deemed a
"change in  control":  (i) any third  person,  including a "group" as defined in
Section  13(d)(3)  of the  Securities  Exchange  Act of 1934,  shall  become the
beneficial  owner of shares of the Institution with respect to which 25% or more
of the total  number of votes for the  election of the Board of Directors of the
Institution  may be cast,  (ii) as a result of, or in connection  with, any cash
tender offer,  exchange  offer,  merger or other business  combination,  sale of
assets or contested election,  or combination of the foregoing,  the persons who
were  directors of the  Institution  shall cease to constitute a majority of the
Board  of  Directors  of  the  Institution  or  (iii)  the  shareholders  of the
Institution  shall approve an agreement  providing  either for a transaction  in
which the Institution  will cease to be an independent  publicly owned entity or
for a sale or other  disposition of all or  substantially  all the assets of the
Institution; provided, however, that the occurrence of any such events shall not
be deemed a "change in  control"  if,  prior to such  occurrence,  a  resolution
specifically  approving  such  occurrence  shall have been adopted by at least a
majority of the Board of Directors of the Institution. If the Continuous Service
of  any  Participant  of  the  Institution  or any  Affiliate  is  involuntarily
terminated,  for whatever  reason,  at any time within  eighteen  months after a
change in control,  unless the Committee  shall have  otherwise  provided in the
agreement  referred  to in  paragraph  (d) of Section 9 hereof,  any  Restricted
Period with respect to Restricted Stock theretofore  awarded to such Participant
shall lapse upon such  termination  and all Shares  awarded as Restricted  Stock
shall become fully vested in the  Participant  to whom such Shares were awarded.
If a tender offer or exchange  offer for Shares (other than such an offer by the
Institution) is commenced, or if the event specified in clause (iii) above shall
occur,  unless the Committee  shall have  otherwise  provided in the  instrument
evidencing the grant of an Option, all Options theretofore granted and not fully
exercisable  shall become  exercisable  in full upon the happening of such event
and shall  remain so  exercisable  in  accordance  with their  terms;  provided,
however,  that no Option  shall be  exercisable  by a director or officer of the
Institution  within six months of the date of grant of such Option and no Option
which has  previously  been  exercised  or  otherwise  terminated  shall  become
exercisable.

         13.      Assignment  and  Transfers.  No Award nor any right or 
interest of a Participant under the Plan in any instrument  


                                      A-9
<PAGE>

evidencing  any Award under the Plan may be assigned,  encumbered or transferred
except,  in the  event  of the  death of a  Participant,  by will or the laws of
descent and distribution.

         14.      Employee  Rights Under the Plan. No officer or key employee  
shall have a right to be selected as a Participant nor, having been so selected,
to be selected again as a Participant  and no officer,  employee or other person
shall have any claim or right to be granted an Award under the Plan or under any
other incentive or similar plan of the Institution or any Affiliate. Neither the
Plan nor any action taken  thereunder  shall be construed as giving any employee
any right to be retained in the employ of the Institution or any Affiliate.

         15.      Delivery and Registration of Stock. The Institution's 
obligation to deliver Shares with respect to an Award shall, if the Committee so
requests,  be  conditioned  upon  the  receipt  of a  representation  as to  the
investment intention of the Participant to whom such Shares are to be delivered,
in such form as the  Committee  shall  determine to be necessary or advisable to
comply with the provision of the  Securities  Act of 1933 or any other  Federal,
state  or  local   securities   legislation.   It  may  be  provided   that  any
representation  requirement shall become  inoperative upon a registration of the
Shares or other action  eliminating the necessity of such  representation  under
such Securities Act or other securities  legislation.  The Institution shall not
be required to deliver any Shares  under the Plan prior to (i) the  admission of
such shares to listing on any stock  exchange or system on which Shares may then
be listed,  and (ii) the completion of such registration or other  qualification
of such  Shares  under any state or  Federal  law,  rule or  regulation,  as the
Committee shall determine to be necessary or advisable.

         This Plan is intended  to comply  with Rule 16b-3 under the  Securities
Exchange Act of 1934. Any provision of the Plan which is inconsistent  with said
Rule shall,  to the extent of such  inconsistency,  be inoperative and shall not
affect the validity of the remaining provisions of the Plan.

         16.      Withholding Tax. Upon the termination of the Restricted Period
with respect to any shares of Restricted  Stock (or at any such earlier time, if
any,  that an election is made by the  Participant  under  Section  83(b) of the
Code, or any successor provision thereto, to include the value of such shares in
taxable income), the Institution shall have the right to require the Participant
or other person  receiving such shares to pay the  Institution the amount of any
taxes which the  Institution is required to withhold with respect to such shares
or, in lieu thereof,  to retain,  or sell without notice, a sufficient number of
shares held by it to cover the amount  required to be withheld.  The Institution
shall have the right to deduct from all dividends paid with respect to shares of
Restricted  Stock the amount of any taxes which the  Institution  is required to
withhold with respect to such dividend payments.

                                      A-10
<PAGE>

         Where a  Participant  or other  person is  entitled  to receive  Shares
pursuant to the  exercise of an Option  pursuant  to the Plan,  the  Institution
shall have the right to require the  Participant or such other person to pay the
Institution  the  amount  of any taxes  which the  Institution  is  required  to
withhold with respect to such Shares,  or, in lieu thereof,  to retain,  or sell
without notice, a number of such Shares  sufficient to cover the amount required
to be withheld.

         17.      Amendment or Termination. The Board of Directors of the 
Institution  may amend,  suspend or terminate the Plan or any portion thereof at
any time,  but (except as provided in Section 10 hereof) no  amendment  shall be
made without  approval of the  stockholders of the  Institution  which shall (i)
materially  increase the aggregate number of Shares with respect to which Awards
may be made under the Plan,  (ii) materially  increase the benefits  accruing to
Participants  under the Plan or (iii)  change the class of persons  eligible  to
participate in the Plan; provided,  however, that no such amendment,  suspension
or termination shall impair the rights of any Participant,  without his consent,
in any Award theretofore made pursuant to the Plan.

         18.      Effective Date and Term of Plan.  The Plan shall become  
effective  upon its  adoption  by the  Board of  Directors  of the  Institution,
subject to  ratification by vote of the holders of a majority of the outstanding
shares of the Institution entitled to vote on the adoption of the Plan. It shall
continue  in  effect  for a term of ten years  unless  sooner  terminated  under
Section 17 hereof.

<PAGE>

                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.
                                37 E. Main Street
                            Warrenton, Virginia 20186
                    PROXY FOR ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS
                  Proxy is Solicited by the Board of Directors

         The undersigned hereby appoints Virginia M. Carter,  Georgia S. Derrico
and  William  H.  Lagos,  as  proxies  (and if the  undersigned  is a proxy,  as
substitute proxies),  each with the power to appoint his or her substitute,  and
hereby  authorizes  each of them to represent and to vote, as designated  below,
all of the shares of Common  Stock of  Southern  Financial  Bancorp,  Inc.  (the
"Company")  held of record by the undersigned on February 28, 1997 at the Annual
Meeting  of  Shareholders  to be held on  April  24,  1997,  or any  adjournment
thereof.

         The  Board of  Directors  recommends  a vote FOR each of the  following
Proposals:

         1.  Election of three directors for a three-year term.

             [  ] FOR all nominees                 [  ] WITHHOLD AUTHORITY
                  listed below                          to vote for all nominees
                  (except as marked to the contrary)

             (INSTRUCTION:  to withhold authority to vote for any individual  
             nominee,  strike a line through the nominee's name in the list 
             below)

                                  Neil J. Call
                                  David de Give
                               R. Roderick Porter


         2.  To approve the  designation  of Arthur  Anderson LLP as independent
             certified  public accountants for fiscal year 1997.

             [  ] FOR                 [  ] AGAINST            [  ] ABSTAIN


         3.  To approve an amendment to the Company's 1993 Stock Option and 
             Incentive Plan.

             [  ] FOR                 [  ] AGAINST            [  ] ABSTAIN


         4.  In their  discretion  the proxies are authorized to vote upon such
             other business as may properly come before the meeting.



<PAGE>



         This  proxy,  when  properly  executed,  will be  voted  in the  manner
directed  herein by the undersigned  shareholder.  If no direction is made, this
proxy will be voted FOR each of Proposals 1, 2 and 3.

         Please sign exactly as the name  appears on the label.  When shares are
held by joint  tenants,  both should sign.  When signing as attorney,  executor,
administrator,  trustee, guardian or agent, please give full title as such. If a
corporation, please sign in full corporate name by president or other authorized
officer. If a partnership, please sign in partnership name by authorized person.


Date:                   , 1997      
         ---------------              ------------------------------------------
                                                       Signature

Printed Name:

- ---------------------------------     ------------------------------------------
                                                Signature, if held jointly

Number of Shares:


                            I plan to attend the meeting in person   [  ]  Yes
- ----------------                                                     [  ]  No

           Please detach and mail this form in the enclosed envelope.




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