SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP INC /VA/
DEF 14A, 2000-03-27
SAVINGS INSTITUTION, FEDERALLY CHARTERED
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                                  SCHEDULE 14A
                                 (Rule 14a-101)
                     INFORMATION REQUIRED IN PROXY STATEMENT

                            SCHEDULE 14A INFORMATION
                Proxy Statement Pursuant to Section 14(a) of the
                         Securities Exchange Act of 1934
                                (Amendment No. )

Filed by the Registrant [X]
Filed by a Party other than the Registrant [ ]

Check the appropriate box:
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
<S>                                                      <C>
[ ]  Preliminary Proxy Statement                         [ ]  Confidential, For Use of the Commission
                                                              Only (as permitted by Rule 14a-6(e)(2))
[X]  Definitive Proxy Statement
[ ]  Definitive Additional Materials
[ ]  Soliciting  Material Under Rule 14a-12

</TABLE>


                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                (Name of Registrant as Specified in Its Charter)

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (Name of Person(s) Filing Proxy Statement, if Other Than the Registrant)

Payment of Filing Fee (Check the appropriate box):

    [X]   No fee required.

    [ ]   Fee  computed on table below per Exchange  Act Rules  14a-6(i)(1)  and
          0-11.

    (1)   Title of each class of securities to which transaction applies:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (2)   Aggregate number of securities to which transaction applies:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (3)   Per unit  price  or other  underlying  value of  transaction  computed
pursuant to Exchange Act Rule 0-11 (set forth the amount on which the filing fee
is calculated and state how it was determined):

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (4)   Proposed maximum aggregate value of transaction:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (5)   Total fee paid:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [ ]   Fee paid previously with preliminary materials.

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [ ]   Check box if any part of the fee is offset as provided by Exchange Act
Rule  0-11(a)(2)  and identify the filing for which the  offsetting fee was paid
previously.  Identify the previous filing by registration  statement  number, or
the form or schedule and the date of its filing.

<PAGE>

    (1)   Amount previously paid:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (2)   Form, Schedule or Registration Statement No.:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (3)   Filing Party:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (4)   Date Filed:

- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<PAGE>

                   [LOGO OF SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.]


                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.



Dear Shareholders:


         You are cordially  invited to attend the Annual Meeting of Shareholders
of Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc. (the "Company"), which will be held on April
27, 2000 at 2:00 p.m.,  at the Fauquier  Springs  Country  Club,  Springs  Road,
Warrenton, Virginia 20186.

         At the  Meeting,  four  directors  of the Company will be elected for a
term of three years,  and one  director  will be elected for a term of one year.
Shareholders  also  will  vote to  ratify  the  designation  of KPMG  LLP as the
Company's  auditors  for the year  2000.  Whether  or not you plan to  attend in
person,  it is important that your shares be represented at the Meeting.  Please
complete,  sign,  date and return  promptly the enclosed  form of proxy.  If you
later decide to attend the Meeting and vote in person,  or if you wish to revoke
your proxy for any reason  prior to the vote at the  Meeting,  you may do so and
your proxy will have no further effect.

         The Board of Directors and  management of the Company  appreciate  your
continued support and look forward to seeing you at the Annual Meeting.

                                           Sincerely yours,

                                           /s/ Georgia S. Derrico

                                           GEORGIA S. DERRICO
                                           Chairman and
                                           Chief Executive Officer


Warrenton, Virginia
March 27, 2000


<PAGE>


                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.
                                37 E. Main Street
                            Warrenton, Virginia 20186

                    NOTICE OF ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS

         NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the Annual Meeting of the holders of shares
of Common Stock, par value $.01 per share, of Southern Financial  Bancorp,  Inc.
(the  "Company"),  will be held at the Fauquier  Springs  Country Club,  Springs
Road,  Warrenton,  Virginia,  on April 27, 2000 at 2:00 p.m.,  for the following
purposes:

         1.       To elect four  directors  to serve on the  Company's  Board of
                  Directors for a term of three years, or until their successors
                  are elected and qualify;

         2.       To elect  one  director  to serve  on the  Company's  Board of
                  Directors  for a term of one year,  or until his  successor is
                  elected and qualifies;

         3.       To ratify the  designation  by the Board of  Directors of KPMG
                  LLP as auditors for the fiscal year ending  December 31, 2000;
                  and

         4.       To transact  such other  business as may properly  come before
                  the meeting.

         The Board of Directors  has fixed the close of business on February 24,
2000 as the record date for the determination of shareholders entitled to notice
of, and to vote at, the Annual Meeting.

                                              By Order of the Board of Directors

                                              /s/ Richard Steele

                                              Richard Steele
                                              Secretary

Warrenton, Virginia
March 27, 2000

________________________________________________________________________________

YOU ARE  CORDIALLY  INVITED TO ATTEND THIS  MEETING.  IT IS IMPORTANT  THAT YOUR
SHARES BE REPRESENTED REGARDLESS OF THE NUMBER THAT YOU OWN. EVEN IF YOU PLAN TO
BE PRESENT, YOU ARE URGED TO COMPLETE,  SIGN, DATE AND RETURN THE ENCLOSED PROXY
PROMPTLY IN THE  ENVELOPE  PROVIDED.  IF YOU ATTEND THIS  MEETING,  YOU MAY VOTE
EITHER IN PERSON OR BY YOUR  PROXY.  ANY PROXY  GIVEN MAY BE  REVOKED  BY YOU IN
WRITING OR IN PERSON AT ANY TIME PRIOR TO THE EXERCISE THEREOF.
________________________________________________________________________________



<PAGE>

                        SOUTHERN FINANCIAL BANCORP, INC.

                               -------------------

                                 PROXY STATEMENT

                               -------------------

                         ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS
                                 April 27, 2000


                               GENERAL INFORMATION

         This Proxy Statement is furnished to holders of common stock, par value
$.01 per share  ("Common  Stock"),  of Southern  Financial  Bancorp,  Inc.  (the
"Company"),  in  connection  with the  solicitation  of  proxies by the Board of
Directors  (the  "Board")  of the  Company to be used at the  Annual  Meeting of
Shareholders  to be held on April 27, 2000 at 2:00 p.m. at the Fauquier  Springs
Country Club, Springs Road, Warrenton,  Virginia (the "Annual Meeting"),  and at
any adjournment thereof.

         The  principal  executive  offices of the  Company are located at 37 E.
Main  Street,   Warrenton,   Virginia  20186,   telephone  (540)  349-3900.  The
approximate date on which this Proxy Statement,  the accompanying proxy card and
Annual Report to  Shareholders  (which is not part of the  Company's  soliciting
materials) are being mailed to the Company's shareholders is March 27, 2000. The
cost of soliciting proxies will be borne by the Company.

         The proxy  solicited  hereby,  if properly  signed and  returned to the
Company and not revoked prior to its use,  will be voted in accordance  with the
instructions  contained  thereon.  If no contrary  instructions are given,  each
proxy  received  will  be  voted  "for"  the  proposals  described  herein.  Any
shareholder  giving a proxy has the power to revoke it at any time  before it is
exercised by (i) filing written  notice  thereof with Shanna Banks,  Shareholder
Relations,  Southern  Financial  Bancorp,  Inc.,  37 E. Main Street,  Warrenton,
Virginia  20186;  (ii) submitting a duly executed proxy bearing a later date; or
(iii) appearing at the Annual Meeting or at any  adjournment  thereof and giving
the  Secretary  notice  of his or her  intention  to  vote  in  person.  Proxies
solicited  hereby  may be  exercised  only  at  the  Annual  Meeting  and at any
adjournment thereof and will not be used for any other meeting.

         Only shareholders of record of Common Stock at the close of business on
February  24,  2000 (the  "Record  Date") will be entitled to vote at the Annual
Meeting.  On the Record Date, there were 2,666,196 shares of Common Stock issued
and outstanding  and 564 record holders.  Each share of Common Stock is entitled
to one vote at the Annual  Meeting.  The Company had 13,621  shares of preferred
stock issued and outstanding at the Record Date.  Holders of preferred stock are
not entitled to notice of, or to vote at, the Annual Meeting.

         As of the Record Date,  directors and executive officers of the Company
and their affiliates,  as a group,  owned beneficially a total of 567,865 shares
of  Common  Stock,  or  approximately  21.4%  of  the  shares  of  Common  Stock
outstanding on such date.  Directors and executive  officers of the Company have
indicated  an intention to vote their shares of Common Stock FOR the election of
the nominees set forth on the enclosed proxy.

<PAGE>

         A  shareholder  may  abstain or (only with  respect to the  election of
directors) withhold his or her vote  (collectively,  "abstentions") with respect
to each item submitted for shareholder approval. Abstentions will be counted for
purposes of determining the existence of a quorum.  Abstentions  will be counted
as not voting in favor of the relevant item.  Since the election of directors is
determined by a plurality vote, abstentions will not affect such election.

         A broker who holds  shares in street name has the  authority to vote on
certain items when it has not received  instructions  from the beneficial owner.
Except for certain items for which brokers are prohibited from exercising  their
discretion,  a broker is entitled to vote on matters put to shareholders without
instructions  from the  beneficial  owner.  Where  brokers do not have or do not
exercise such  discretion,  the inability or failure to vote is referred to as a
broker non-vote. Under the circumstances where the broker is not permitted to or
does not exercise its discretion,  assuming proper  disclosure to the Company of
such  inability  to vote,  broker  non-votes  will be counted  for  purposes  of
determining the existence of a quorum, but also will be counted as not voting in
favor of the particular matter.


                              ELECTION OF DIRECTORS

         The Company's Articles of Incorporation provide that the Board shall be
divided into three classes as nearly equal in number as possible. The members of
each  class  are to be  elected  for a term  of  three  years  and  until  their
successors are elected and qualify.  One class of directors is elected annually.
Four  directors  are to be elected at the Annual  Meeting to serve for a term of
three  years,  and one  director  is to be  elected to serve a term of one year.
Richard E. Smith,  who was  appointed  to the Board in December  1999,  is being
presented to the shareholders as a nominee for the first time.

         The Board acts as a nominating committee for selecting the nominees for
election as directors.  The nominating committee delivers written nominations to
the  Secretary  of the  Company at least 20 days prior to the date of the Annual
Meeting.  The Board has no reason to believe  that any of the  nominees  will be
unavailable to serve as a director if elected.  Seven other  directors have been
elected to terms that end in either 2001 or 2002, as indicated below.

         The Company's Bylaws provide,  however,  that shareholders  entitled to
vote for the election of directors  may name nominees for election to the Board.
Under the Company's  Bylaws,  notice of a proposed  nomination  meeting  certain
specified requirements must be received by the Company not less than 60 nor more
than 90 days prior to any  meeting of  shareholders  called for the  election of
directors,  provided  in each case that,  if fewer  than 70 days'  notice of the
meeting is given to  shareholders,  such  written  notice  shall be received not
later than the close of the tenth day  following  the day on which notice of the
meeting was mailed to shareholders.  Based upon an anticipated date of April 27,
2001 for the 2001 annual meeting of  shareholders,  the Company must receive any
notice of a proposed  nomination  no later than February 26, 2001 and no earlier
than January 27, 2001.

         The Company's Bylaws require that the shareholder's notice set forth as
to each nominee (i) the name,  age,  business  address and residence  address of
such nominee, (ii) the principal occupation or employment of such nominee, (iii)
the class and number of shares of the  Company  that are  beneficially  owned by
such nominee,  and (iv) any other  information  relating to such nominee that is
required  under  federal  securities  laws to be disclosed in  solicitations  of
proxies for the  election of  directors,  or is otherwise  required  (including,
without  limitation,  such nominee's  written  consent to being named in a proxy
statement  as nominee and to serving as a director if  elected).  The  Company's
Bylaws  further  require  that  the  shareholder's  notice  set  forth as to the
shareholder  giving the notice (i) the name and



                                      -2-
<PAGE>

address of such shareholder and (ii) the class and amount of such  shareholder's
beneficial ownership of the Company's capital stock. If the information supplied
by the  shareholder  is  deficient in any  material  aspect or if the  foregoing
procedure is not followed, the chairman of the Annual Meeting may determine that
such  shareholder's  nomination  should not be brought before the Annual Meeting
and that such  nominee  shall not be eligible  for election as a director of the
Company.

         Unless  authority  is withheld in the proxy,  each proxy  executed  and
returned by a shareholder  will be voted for the election of the nominees listed
below.  Proxies distributed in conjunction herewith may not be voted for persons
other than the nominees named thereon.  If any person named as nominee should be
unable or unwilling to stand for election at the time of the Annual Meeting, the
proxy  holders  will  nominate  and vote for a  replacement  nominee or nominees
recommended by the Board. At this time, the Board knows no reason why any of the
nominees  listed  below may not be able to serve as a director if  elected.  The
proxy also confers  discretionary  authority upon the persons named therein,  or
their  substitutes,  with  respect to any other  matter that may  properly  come
before the meeting.

         In the election of directors,  those  receiving the greatest  number of
votes will be elected  even if they do not receive a majority.  Abstentions  and
broker  non-votes  will not be  considered  a vote  for,  or a vote  against,  a
director.

         THE BOARD OF  DIRECTORS  RECOMMENDS  THAT THE  NOMINEES  BE  ELECTED AS
DIRECTORS.
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                 NOMINEE FOR ELECTION FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 2001

                                                                                            Year First
            Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                            Elected as
                  and Directorships in Public Corporations                                   Director
<S>                       <C>                                                                    <C>
Richard E. Smith          74, Retired Colonel,  U.S. Marine Corps; CEO and Chairman,             --
                          MANNA  Financial  Services,   a   broker-dealer/investment
                          advisory  company founded by him in 1961; and Owner,  Reed
                          Insurance Agency; having served as a founding director and
                          Chairman  of the Board for The  Horizon  Bank of  Virginia
                          ("Horizon"),  which merged into  Southern  Financial  Bank
                          (the "Bank") on October 1, 1999, from 1989 to 1999; having
                          served as a  director  of  Guaranty  Bank & Trust Co.  and
                          Riggs National Bank of Virginia.
</TABLE>







                                      -3-
<PAGE>

                 NOMINEES FOR ELECTION FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 2003
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                                                            Year First
            Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                            Elected as
                  and Directorships in Public Corporations                                   Director
<S>                       <C>                                                                  <C>
John C. Belotti           63,  President and co-owner,  Bee & H Electric  Company in           1999
                          Fairfax, Virginia; having served as a founding director of
                          Horizon  from 1989 to 1999 and Vice  Chairman of the Board
                          of Horizon from 1998 to 1999.

Neil J. Call              66, Executive Vice President,  MacKenzie Partners, Inc., a           1986
                          New York financial consulting company,  since 1990; having
                          served as Executive Vice President,  D.F. King & Co., Inc.
                          from 1986 to 1990; and Executive Vice President,  Finance,
                          Gulf and Western Industries prior thereto.

David de Give             57,  Senior  Vice  President  of the  Company  since 1992;           1986
                          having been a cattle  breeder and  private  investor  from
                          1989  to  1992;  having  served  as  President,  Newmarket
                          Capital Corp., a mortgage company,  from 1986 to 1989; and
                          Vice President in charge of U.S.  Funding,  Chemical Bank,
                          prior thereto.

R. Roderick Porter        54,  President and Chief Operating  Officer of the Company           1986
                          since April  1998;  having been  President,  FX  Concepts,
                          Ltd., an international money management firm, from 1994 to
                          1998;  having served as Managing  Director,  West Capital,
                          Inc.,  a real  estate  advising  firm,  from 1992 to 1994;
                          Chairman, Newmarket Capital Corp., a mortgage company; and
                          Principal of Morgan Stanley prior thereto.
</TABLE>

              INCUMBENT DIRECTORS SERVING FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 2001
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                                                            Year First
            Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                            Elected as
                  and Directorships in Public Corporations                                   Director
<S>                       <C>                                                                  <C>
Fred L. Bollerer          57,  President and Chief Executive  Officer of the Potomac           1999
                          Knowledge  Way Project  since  January  1998;  having been
                          President and Chief Executive  Officer of Riggs Bank, N.A.
                          from  1993 to 1997;  and  Chairman  of the Board and Chief
                          Executive Officer of First American Bank of Virginia prior
                          thereto.



                                      -4-
<PAGE>

Georgia S. Derrico        55, Chairman of the Board and Chief  Executive  Officer of           1986
                          the  Company  since  1986;  having  served as Senior  Vice
                          President,   Chief   Administrative  and  Credit  Officer,
                          Multinational  Division,  District  Head of Chemical  Bank
                          prior thereto. Other directorship: Oneida Ltd.

John L. Marcellus, Jr.    77, Retired  President and Chairman of the Board,  Oneida,           1986
                          Ltd.,   a   silverware    manufacturing   company.   Other
                          directorship: Kuhlman Corporation.
</TABLE>

              INCUMBENT DIRECTORS SERVING FOR TERM EXPIRING IN 2002
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                                                            Year First
            Name; Age; Principal Occupation for Past Five Years;                            Elected as
                  and Directorships in Public Corporations                                   Director
<S>                       <C>                                                                  <C>
Alfonso G.                67, Former  Executive  Vice  President,  Regional  General           1999
Finocchiaro               Manager and CEO  (Americas),  Banco Portugues do Atlantico
                          from  1978  to  1997;  having  been  President  and  Chief
                          Executive Officer of Connecticut Bank  International  from
                          1977 to 1978;  and Vice  President  of Chemical  Bank from
                          1966 to 1977.

Virginia Jenkins          52, Owner, V. Jenkins Interiors and Antiques.                        1988

Michael P. Rucker         59, Executive with Caterpillar, Inc., a manufacturing company;       1991
                          Chairman of the Board, George H. Rucker Realty Corp., a real
                          estate development company.

Robert P. Warhurst        61, President and co-owner of Merrifield  Garden Center in           1999
                          Merrifield  and  Fairfax,  Virginia;  having  served  as a
                          founding director of Horizon from 1989 to 1999.
</TABLE>

         In 1999,  each  director  attended at least 75% of the aggregate of (i)
the total  number of  meetings of the Board held during the period for which the
director  was on the  Board  and  (ii)  the  total  number  of  meetings  of all
committees of the Board on which the director then served. Eight meetings of the
Board were held during 1999.

Committees of the Board

         The  Asset/Liability  Management  Committee  has  authority  for policy
formulation  and  administration  of the  Company's  asset/liability  management
policies.  The  Asset/Liability  Management  Committee,  which  consists  of Ms.
Derrico and Messrs. Porter (Chairman),  Belotti, Call, de Give, Finocchiaro, and
Smith  reports  periodically  to the Board on the  interest  sensitivity  of the
Company,  including  an  analysis  of  the  duration  of the  Company's  assets,
liabilities  and contingent  liabilities as well as the mortgage  pipeline and a
calculation  of  the  duration  of the  Company's  equity.  The  Asset/Liability



                                      -5-
<PAGE>

Management  Committee  met four times in 1999.  The  Asset/Liability  Management
Committee   frequently   discusses   policy   issues  by   teleconference   (see
"Compensation of Directors").

         The Credit  Committee has authority and  responsibility  to oversee the
prudent  operation of the  Company's  lending  function,  including  the ongoing
qualitative review of the loan portfolio.  The Credit Committee,  which consists
of Ms. Derrico and Messrs. Call (Chairman),  Bollerer and Rucker, is responsible
for insuring  the  development  and  maintenance  of sound  credit  policies and
procedures and an ongoing  qualitative review of the loan portfolio.  The Credit
Committee  met 14  times in 1999  and  frequently  discusses  credit  issues  by
teleconference (see "Compensation of Directors").

         The Audit  Committee  assists  the Board in  fulfilling  its  fiduciary
responsibilities relating to corporate accounting and reporting practices of the
Company.  The Audit Committee  consists of Messrs.  Call  (Chairman),  Bollerer,
Finocchiaro and Marcellus and Ms. Jenkins and met three times in 1999.

         The Compensation  Committee reviews the performance of, and establishes
the  compensation  for, the  executive  officers of the Company.  The  Company's
executive  compensation  programs are  designed to retain and reward  executives
based upon (i) their  individual  performance and ability to lead the Company to
achieving  its  goals  and  (ii) the  Company's  performance.  The  Compensation
Committee consists of Messrs. Marcellus (Chairman),  Finocchiaro  (Co-Chairman),
Call and Warhurst and Ms. Jenkins.  The Compensation  Committee met two times in
1999.

Senior Officers of the Company

         William  Stevens,  55,  joined  the  Bank  in 1999  as  Executive  Vice
President/Risk  Management.  From 1991 to 1999,  Mr.  Stevens served as a Senior
Analyst in the Office of the Inspector  General of the Federal Deposit Insurance
Corporation.  Prior to that he was an  Executive  Vice  President at Riggs Bank,
N.A. in Washington,  D.C. where he managed the Bank's commercial real estate and
single family lending activities. Before that, Mr. Stevens was President and COO
of Anchor Mortgage Services, and he was a Senior Vice President at Chemical Bank
from 1983 to 1987.

         Jackie   Fitterer,   36,  joined  the  Bank  in  1999  as  Senior  Vice
President/Loan  Administrator  when Horizon merged into the Bank.  Ms.  Fitterer
began her career with Horizon in 1990 as the manager of the loan  department and
was  promoted  to  Assistant  Vice  President/Loan  Manager  in  1991,  to  Vice
President/Loan   Administrator  in  1992  and  to  Senior  Vice   President/Loan
Administrator in 1997.

         David   Goldman,   52,   joined  the  Bank  in  1999  as  Senior   Vice
President/Branch  Operations  when Horizon was merged into the Bank. Mr. Goldman
started his career in 1990 as Senior Vice President/ Cashier with Horizon.

         William H. Lagos,  49,  joined the Bank in 1986 as Vice  President.  In
1993, he was promoted to Senior Vice President of Operations; in 1996, he became
Senior Vice President/Controller.

         Linda W.  Sandridge,  47,  joined  the Bank in 1987.  In 1995,  she was
promoted to Vice  President/Commercial  Lending;  in 1997,  she was  promoted to
Senior Vice President/Commercial Lending.

         Richard  Steele,  52, joined the Bank in 1999 as Senior Vice President.
From 1993 to 1999, Mr. Steele was Senior Vice President of FX Concepts, Inc., an
international  money  management  firm based in New York. From 1989 to 1993, Mr.
Steele was Director of Finance, Eli Lilly and Company, Geneva.



                                      -6-
<PAGE>

         Laura L. Vergot, 42, joined the Bank in 1989. In 1995, she was promoted
to Vice President/Branch  Development;  in 1997, she was promoted to Senior Vice
President/Branch Development, and she is currently Senior Vice President/Systems
Administration.

Certain Relationships and Related Transactions

         Georgia S. Derrico,  Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive  Officer
and a director of the  Company,  and R.  Roderick  Porter,  President  and Chief
Operating Officer and a director of the Company, are married to each other.

         Some of the directors and officers of the Company are at present, as in
the past, customers of the Company, and the Company has had, and expects to have
in the future,  banking transactions in the ordinary course of its business with
directors,   officers,   principal   shareholders  and  their   associates,   on
substantially the same terms,  including interest rates and collateral on loans,
as those  prevailing at the same time for comparable  transactions  with others.
These transactions do not involve more than the normal risk of collectibility or
present other unfavorable features. The balance of loans to directors, executive
officers and their associates  totaled  $1,099,039 at December 31, 1999, or 3.8%
of the Company's equity capital at that date.


                                 STOCK OWNERSHIP

         The following table lists those persons  (including any "group" as that
term is used in Section  13(d)(3) of the  Securities  Exchange  Act of 1934,  as
amended (the  "Exchange  Act")) who, to the  knowledge of the Company,  were the
beneficial owners of more than 5% of the outstanding  shares of Common Stock, as
of December 31, 1999.
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
           Name and Address of                                         Number of             Percent
            Beneficial Owners                                          Shares(1)             of Class
            -----------------                                          ---------             --------
<S>                                                                     <C>                    <C>
           Georgia S. Derrico (2)(3)                                    240,515                9.1%
           R. Roderick Porter
           2954 Burrland Lane
           The Plains, Virginia  20171

           Financial Institution Partners II, L.P. (4)                  178,800                6.7%
           Hovde Capital, L.L.C.
           Eric D. Hovde
           Steven D. Hovde
           1824 Jefferson Place, N.W.
           Washington, D.C.  20036
</TABLE>
____________________
(1)      Except as otherwise indicated,  includes shares held directly,  as well
         as shares held in retirement  accounts or by certain  family members or
         corporations  over  which the named  individuals  may be deemed to have
         voting or investment power.
(2)      Georgia S. Derrico and R. Roderick Porter are married to each other.



                                      -7-
<PAGE>

(3)      Includes (a) 84,373 shares owned individually by Ms. Derrico over which
         she has sole  voting and  investment  power and 97,176  shares that Ms.
         Derrico may  acquire  pursuant to the  exercise of stock  options,  (b)
         23,404  shares of  Common  Stock  and  4,039  shares  of the  Company's
         convertible preferred stock owned individually by Mr. Porter over which
         he has sole  investment  power and 25,000  shares  that Mr.  Porter may
         acquire pursuant to the exercise of stock options, and (c) 4,100 shares
         owned jointly by Ms.  Derrico and Mr. Porter over which they have joint
         investment  power.  Ms.  Derrico  and Mr.  Porter  disclaim  beneficial
         ownership of each other's shares.
(4)      As reported in a Schedule  13D filed with the  Securities  and Exchange
         Commission  on October 25, 1999 by Financial  Institution  Partners II,
         L.P.,  Hovde  Capital,  L.L.C.,  Eric D.  Hovde and  Steven  D.  Hovde.
         According  to the  Schedule  13D,  Hovde  Capital,  L.L.C.,  as General
         Partner of Financial  Institution  Partners II, L.P., and Eric D. Hovde
         and Steven D. Hovde, as managing members of Hovde Capital,  L.L.C., may
         be deemed to have  shared  voting and  investment  powers over all such
         shares.


         The following  table sets forth as of December 31, 1999 the  beneficial
ownership  of Common  Stock by all  directors  and  nominees,  each of the named
executive  officers,  and directors  and executive  officers of the Company as a
group. Unless otherwise indicated,  each person listed below has sole voting and
investment power over all shares beneficially owned by such person.
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                                 Total Number             Percent of
         Name of Beneficial Owner                                of Shares (1)               Class
         ------------------------                                -------------               -----
<S>                                                                 <C>                      <C>
         John C. Belotti                                             23,562                    *
         Fred L. Bollerer                                             2,000                    *
         Neil J. Call                                                41,495 (2)               1.6
         David de Give                                               82,868 (3)               3.1
         Georgia S. Derrico                                         240,515 (4)               9.1
         Alfonso G. Finocchiaro                                       5,192                    *
         Virginia Jenkins                                             2,275                    *
         William H. Lagos                                            30,548                   1.2
         John L. Marcellus, Jr.                                      15,808 (5)                *
         R. Roderick Porter                                         240,515 (4)               9.1
         Michael P. Rucker                                           80,396 (6)               3.0
         Richard E. Smith                                            29,000                   1.1
         Robert P. Warhurst                                          14,206                    *

         Directors and officers as a group (13
           persons)                                                 567,865                  21.4
</TABLE>
___________________
* Percentage of ownership is less than one percent of the outstanding shares of
Common Stock.

(1)      The amounts in this column  include shares of Common Stock with respect
         to which certain persons have the right to acquire beneficial ownership
         within 60 days after  December 31, 1999 pursuant to the Company's  1993
         Stock  Option and  Incentive  Plan,  as  amended:  Mr. de Give:  46,403
         shares;  Ms.  Derrico:  97,176 shares;  Mr. Lagos:  26,802 shares;  Mr.
         Porter:  25,000  shares;  and the  directors  and  officers as a group:
         195,381 shares.
(2)      Includes  35,529  shares  of  Common  Stock  and  4,354  shares  of the
         Company's convertible preferred stock.
(3)      Includes  2,353 shares owned by Mr. de Give's spouse over which she has
         sole voting and investment power.
(4)      Includes (a) 84,373 shares owned individually by Ms. Derrico over which
         she has sole  voting and  investment  power and 97,176  shares that Ms.
         Derrico may  acquire  pursuant to the  exercise of stock



                                      -8-
<PAGE>

         options,  (b)  23,404  shares of Common  Stock and 4,039  shares of the
         Company's  convertible preferred stock owned individually by Mr. Porter
         over  which he has sole  investment  power and 25,000  shares  that Mr.
         Porter may acquire  pursuant to the exercise of stock options,  and (c)
         4,100 shares  owned  jointly by Ms.  Derrico and Mr.  Porter over which
         they have joint  investment  power. Ms. Derrico and Mr. Porter disclaim
         beneficial ownership of each other's shares.
(5)      Includes  13,427  shares  of  Common  Stock  and  2,221  shares  of the
         Company's convertible preferred stock.
(6)      Includes  11,627 shares of Common Stock and 991 shares of the Company's
         convertible  preferred stock owned by Michael  Rucker,  5,973 shares of
         Common Stock and 2,402 shares of convertible  preferred  stock owned by
         Derek Rucker,  8,378 shares of Common Stock owned by Lucy Jones,  5,025
         shares of Common  Stock owned by Susan Jones  Cooper,  4,832  shares of
         Common Stock owned by David  Dodrill and 37,755  shares of Common Stock
         owned by Rucker Realty Corp. and persons  associated with Rucker Realty
         Corp.  The Company makes no  representation  as to whether any of these
         persons, individually or in any combination, share voting or investment
         power with any other person or with Rucker Realty with respect to their
         shares.


             SECTION 16(a) BENEFICIAL OWNERSHIP REPORTING COMPLIANCE

         Section 16(a) of the Exchange Act requires the Company's  directors and
executive  officers,  and any persons  who own more than 10% of the  outstanding
shares of Common  Stock,  to file with the  Securities  and Exchange  Commission
("SEC") reports of ownership and changes in ownership of Common Stock.  Officers
and directors are required by SEC regulations to furnish the Company with copies
of all  Section  16(a)  reports  that they file.  Based  solely on review of the
copies of such reports furnished to the Company or written  representation  that
no other reports were required,  the Company  believes that,  during fiscal year
1999, all filing requirements applicable to its executive officers and directors
were complied with,  except that (i) the Chief Executive  Officer  inadvertently
filed late a report on Form 4 disclosing  the exercise of a stock option and the
corresponding  acquisition  of shares of Common Stock in June 1999 and (ii) each
director who was first  elected or appointed to the Board in 1999  inadvertently
failed to file timely a report on Form 3 disclosing his beneficial  ownership at
the time that he became a director of the Company.




                                      -9-
<PAGE>

                COMPENSATION OF EXECUTIVE OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS

Summary Compensation

         The following table presents information relating to total compensation
of the Chief  Executive  Officer and the other named  executive  officers of the
Company for the years ended December 31, 1999, 1998 and 1997.

                           SUMMARY COMPENSATION TABLE
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                  Annual Compensation                       Long-Term Compensation
                                                  -------------------                       ----------------------
                                                                                       Securities
Name and                                                              Other Annual     Underlying        All Other
Principal Position             Year       Salary        Bonus       Compensation (1)   Options (#)    Compensation (2)
- ------------------             ----       ------        -----       ----------------   -----------    ----------------
<S>                            <C>       <C>           <C>                 <C>            <C>              <C>
Georgia S. Derrico             1999      $195,000      $240,000            --             10,000           $4,800
Chairman of the Board          1998       193,226       200,000            --             10,000            4,800
  and Chief Executive          1997       175,000       175,000            --             10,000            4,500
  Officer

R. Roderick Porter (3)         1999      $175,000       $72,000            --             15,000           $4,800
President and Chief            1998       100,000            --            --             10,000            2,505
  Operating Officer

William H. Lagos               1999      $100,000       $26,000            --              5,000           $1,200
Senior Vice President          1998        91,589        25,000            --              5,000            1,200
  and Controller               1997        87,125        12,500            --              8,000            2,913
</TABLE>

________________________
(1)      None of the named executive officers received Other Annual Compensation
         in excess of the lesser of $50,000 or 10% of combined  salary and bonus
         for the years indicated.
(2)      The amounts set forth in this column constitute matching  contributions
         by the Company to the Company's 401(k) plan.
(3)      Mr. Porter joined the Company on April 1, 1998.





                                      -10-
<PAGE>

Option Grants in Last Fiscal Year

         The  following  table sets forth for the year ended  December 31, 1999,
the grants of stock options to the named executive officers:

                  OPTION GRANTS IN YEAR ENDED DECEMBER 31, 1999
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                                                            Potential Realizable
                                                                                              Value at Assumed
                                                                                            Annual Rates of Stock
                                                                                           Price Appreciation for
                                                Individual Grants(1)                             Option Term
                      -------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------
                                            Percent of
                          Number of        Total Options
                          Securities        Granted to
                          Underlying       Employees in     Exercise or
                           Options          Fiscal Year      Base Price     Expiration
Name                     Granted (#)          (%)(2)         ($/Share)         Date            5% ($)     10% ($)
- ----                     -----------          ------         ---------         ----            ------     -------
<S>                          <C>               <C>             <C>           <C>              <C>         <C>
Georgia S. Derrico           10,000            10.87           21.00         02/02/09         342,068     544,686

R. Roderick Porter           15,000            16.30           21.00         02/02/09         513,102     817,029

William H. Lagos              5,000             5.43           21.00         02/02/09         171,034     272,343
</TABLE>
_____________________
(1)      Stock  options  were  awarded at the fair market value of the shares of
         Common Stock at the date of award and are exercisable after February 2,
         2000.
(2)      Options to purchase  92,000  shares of Common Stock were granted to the
         Company's employees during the year ended December 31, 1999.





                                      -11-
<PAGE>

Option Exercises in Last Fiscal Year

         The following table sets forth information  concerning each exercise of
stock option during the fiscal year ended December 31, 1999 by each of the named
executive officers and the year end value of unexercised options.

           AGGREGATED OPTION EXERCISES IN YEAR ENDED DECEMBER 31, 1999
                        AND FISCAL YEAR END OPTION VALUES
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
                                                                  Number of
                                                            Securities Underlying            Value of Unexercised
                                                             Unexercised Options             In-The-Money Options
                                                         at December 31, 1999 (#)(1)      at December 31, 1999 ($)(2)
                                                         ---------------------------      ---------------------------
                            Shares
                         Acquired on       Value
Name                     Exercise (#)   Realized ($)    Exercisable     Unexercisable    Exercisable    Unexercisable
- ----                     ------------   ------------    -----------     -------------    -----------    -------------
<S>                         <C>            <C>             <C>              <C>            <C>               <C>
Georgia S. Derrico          4,840          34,848          87,176           10,000         368,786           (3)

R. Roderick Porter            --             --            10,000           15,000           (3)             (3)

William H. Lagos              --             --            21,802            5,000         35,924            (3)
</TABLE>
____________________
(1)      Each of these Options relates to Common Stock.
(2)      These values are based on $16.50,  the closing price of Common Stock on
         December 31, 1999.
(3)      None of the indicated options held by the named executive officers were
         in-the-money as of December 31, 1999.


Employment Agreements

         Ms. Derrico has an employment agreement with the Company. The agreement
has an initial  term of five years and will be extended for an  additional  year
three times,  beginning on December 31, 2000. Ms. Derrico's employment agreement
provides that she will serve as the Chairman and Chief Executive  Officer of the
Company at an annual base salary of $195,000.  Base salary increases and bonuses
will be in the  discretion of the Board.  Under the  employment  agreement,  Ms.
Derrico will be entitled to participate in employee benefit plans, including the
Company's  stock option  plans,  on the same basis as other  employees of senior
executive status.  If the Company  terminates Ms. Derrico's  employment  without
cause, or if Ms. Derrico resigns for "good reason" during the contract term, she
will be entitled to salary and benefits for the  remainder of the contract  term
and an amount  equal to three  times the  highest  bonus  paid to her during the
three calendar years that precede the date that her employment terminates. Under
the employment agreement, "good reason" entitling Ms. Derrico to resign includes
a change or reduction in Ms. Derrico's authority; a reduction in base salary, as
the same may have been  increased  from time to time; the failure of the Company
to  provide  her with  substantially  the same  fringe  benefits  that have been
provided  heretofore;  the  failure  of a  successor  corporation  to assume the
Company's obligations under the employment agreement;  a failure to nominate her
for re-election to the Board;  or a material breach of the employment  agreement
by the Company. No additional compensation is payable to Ms. Derrico if there is
a change of control of the Company.



                                      -12-
<PAGE>

         At any time  after  December  31,  2002,  Ms.  Derrico  may  resign and
continue  to receive  her salary  for 60 months,  provided  she agrees to remain
Chairman of the Board and does not engage in any competitive business.

         Under the  employment  agreement,  Ms. Derrico would not be entitled to
any further compensation or benefits if the Company terminated the agreement for
cause. Cause includes personal  dishonesty,  incompetence,  willful  misconduct,
breach of fiduciary  duty  involving  personal  profit,  intentional  failure to
perform stated duties,  willful  violation of any law, rule or regulation (other
than traffic  violations or similar  offenses that have no material  detrimental
effect on the Company) or final cease and desist order,  or a material breach of
any provision of the employment agreement.

         The Company entered into an employment agreement with Mr. Lagos in 1997
for a term of 18 months with automatic one-year extensions.  If, during the term
of the  agreement,  Mr. Lagos'  employment  is terminated in connection  with or
subsequent  to a change of control of the Company by (i) the Company  other than
for cause or as a result of Mr. Lagos' death, disability or retirement,  or (ii)
Mr.  Lagos for good reason (as  provided in the  agreement),  Mr. Lagos shall be
entitled to receive  severance pay equal to 150% of the total cash  compensation
paid to him during the previous 12 months.  The term "change in control" as used
in his agreement  shall refer generally to (i) the acquisition of 40% or more of
the voting  securities  of the Company by any  "person"  or "group"  (within the
definition of Section 13(d) and 14(d) of the Exchange Act), (ii) a change in the
composition  of the Board to less than a majority  of  incumbent  directors  (as
defined in the agreement),  or (iii) the approval by the Company's  shareholders
of either a business  combination  with any other person or group,  other than a
merger or  consolidation  that  would  result in the  Common  Stock  outstanding
immediately  prior thereto  representing at least 50% of the Common Stock of the
surviving entity outstanding immediately thereafter, or a plan of liquidation or
sale or disposition of all or substantially all of the Company's assets.

Compensation of Directors

         Each  member of the Board who was not an employee of the Company or any
of its  subsidiaries  is paid (i) $500 for  attendance at each Board meeting and
(ii) $150 for attendance at each meeting of a committee of the Board of which he
or she is a member.  Effective February 2000, directors are also compensated for
meetings  conducted  by  teleconference  at the same rates.  In  addition,  each
director is paid an annual fee of $4,000.  Employee members of the Board are not
paid separately for their service on the Board or its committees.


                             DESIGNATION OF AUDITORS

         The Board has designated KPMG LLP, Certified Public Accountants, as the
Company's  independent  auditors  for the fiscal year ending  December 31, 2000,
subject to shareholder ratification. A representative of KPMG LLP is expected to
be present at the Annual Meeting,  will have the opportunity to make a statement
if he or she  desires to do so, and is expected  to be  available  to respond to
appropriate questions.

         The  principal  function  of  KPMG  LLP is to  audit  the  consolidated
financial statements of the Company and its subsidiaries and, in connection with
that  audit,  to review  certain  related  filings  with the SEC and to  conduct
limited  reviews of the financial  statements  included in each of the Company's
quarterly  reports.  The  Company  engaged  the  services  of  KPMG  LLP  as its
independent accountants as of June 26, 1997.



                                      -13-
<PAGE>
                              FINANCIAL STATEMENTS

         A copy of the Company's Annual Report on Form 10-K for the period ended
December 31, 1999, to be filed with the SEC, will be provided on written request
without charge to any  shareholder  whose proxy is being solicited by the Board.
The written request should be directed to:

                              Shareholder Relations
                        Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc.
                                37 E. Main Street
                            Warrenton, Virginia 20186



                        PROPOSALS FOR 2001 ANNUAL MEETING

         Any  shareholder  desiring  to make a proposal  to be acted upon at the
2001 Annual Meeting of shareholders must present such proposal to the Company at
its principal office at 37 E. Main Street,  Warrenton,  Virginia, not later than
November 26, 2000, as required by the  regulations  of the SEC, in order for the
proposal to be considered for inclusion in the Company's  proxy  statement.  The
Company anticipates holding the 2001 Annual Meeting on April 27, 2001.


                                  OTHER MATTERS

         The Board is not aware of any matters to be presented for action at the
meeting other than as set forth herein.  However,  if any other matters properly
come  before the  meeting,  or any  adjournment  thereof,  the person or persons
voting the proxies will vote them in accordance with their best judgment.

                                             By Order of the Board of Directors

                                             /s/ Richard Steele

                                             Richard Steele
                                             Secretary




                                      -14-
<PAGE>
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
<S>                                                                                     <C>
                                                                                        Please mark your      [X]
          THIS PROXY IS SOLICITED ON BEHALF OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS                   votes as indicated in
                                                                                        this example

The undersigned hereby appoints Mary F. Henward, Georgia S. Derrico, and William
H. Lagos, jointly and severally,  as proxies (and if the undersigned is a proxy,
as  substitute),  each with the power to act  alone  and to  appoint  his or her
substitute,  and hereby authorizes each of them to represent the undersigned and
to vote,  as  designated  below,  all of the shares of Common  Stock of Southern
Financial Bancorp, Inc. (the "Corporation") held of record by the undersigned on
February 24, 2000 at the Annual Meeting of  Shareholders to be held on April 27,
2000 or any adjournment thereof.
</TABLE>
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
<S>                                                                  <C>
1. To elect four directors for a three-year term.                    2. To elect one director for a one-year term.

[ ] FOR all nominees listed below     [ ] WITHHOLD AUTHORITY            [ ] FOR the nominee listed below [ ] WITHHOLD AUTHORITY
    (except as marked to the contrary)    to vote for all nominees                                           to vote for the nominee

     John C. Belotti, Neil J. Call, David de Give, R. Roderick Porter                   Richard E. Smith


(INSTRUCTION: To withhold authority to vote for any individual       3. To ratify the designation of KPMG LLP as the Corporation's
nominee, write the name of the nominee on the space provided below.)    auditors for the fiscal year ending December 31, 2000.

                                                                        [ ] FOR                 [ ] AGAINST              [ ] ABSTAIN

WITHHELD FOR:
                                                                     4. In their discretion, the proxies are authorized to vote upon
________________________________________________________________        any other business that may properly come before the
 _________________________________________________________________      meeting, or any adjournment thereof.
|                                                                 |
|                                                                 |
|                                                                 |
|                                                                 |
|                                                                 |
|_________________________________________________________________|
</TABLE>
THIS PROXY, WHEN PROPERLY EXECUTED,  WILL BE VOTED IN THE MANNER DIRECTED HEREIN
BY THE SHAREHOLDER.  IF NO DIRECTION IS GIVEN,  THIS PROXY WILL BE VOTED FOR ALL
NOMINEES LISTED IN ITEMS 1 AND 2 AND FOR ITEM 3.
<TABLE>
<CAPTION>
<S><C>
Signature_____________________________________________ Signature_____________________________________________Date___________________
NOTE: Please sign as name appears hereon. Joint owners should each sign. When signing as attorney, executor, administrator, trustee
or guardian, please give full title as such.
</TABLE>



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